Friday, November 09, 2007

The Smell of Freedom

So the other day I'm speaking with a friend about alternative fuels (and chicks and baseball) and he tells me this story from a few years ago about this inventor guy.

Seems the guy built a car that could run on discarded cooking oils from restaurants. He go around to all the area eateries and they would just give him this stuff. And he'd basically drive for free.

He said the only downside was that the exhaust smelled like french fries.

THE DOWNSIDE????!!! Air that smells like french fries has NO downside!

Just imagine a world where the air smelled of the frenched fry! OH. MY. GOD.

It would have to be the end of all wars as we know them. Why would someone want to fight when the air was smelling of fried potatoes?

The worlds economy would change. Every restaurant that didn't serve french fries would be out of business (cuz folks would only dine at places that served the sizzlin' spuds)

Idaho, Ireland, and maybe Maine would be the new Superpowers.

So to sum up:

French Fry air is the best air.


Lois Lane said...

Two things pop to mind here:

1. You've never worked in a kitchen with fryolators, have you? You definitely wouldn't love the smell so much then.

2. Just last night I was telling the husband that guys who wore Oreo cookie-scented cologne or deodorant would get tons of chicks.

To sum up: Cookie smell better than fry smell.

Redbeard76 said...

How about deep fried Oreos?

The mind boggles.

Sparkle Plenty said...

YAH! Quite a few people use the fryolator oil for fuel these days; there are kits you can get to switch your car over. I'm gonna nominate Lois and Redbeard for the Nobel Prize for their cookie idea.

I Ain't No Oprah said...

But who in their right mind would waste a cookie for fuel?

At least with the french fry thing it's only the oils that get tossed in the engine.

No actual french fries get killed.

Anonymous said...

I'm really not comfortable with Ronald McDonald having his clown finger on the world's fuel supply.

That said, I think the idea of freshly baked cookie cologne is brilliant, and I plan on testing its ability to snare chicks during the upcoming month.

Let's see, what bars are there near my Chelsea office here in NYC? Well, there's the Manhole, the Spike, the Anvil, Harvey's Milk Bar...

I've never been in 'em, (hell, I've never been able to see into 'em, because all the windows are blacked out) but there are bound to be scads of cookie-scent appreciating women there, right?

-- Lamont "Batter Up" Cranston

Redbeard76 said...

Just get paddled by Oreos, then you'll have the scent on you. Cost-effective, methinks.

cousin saul said...

WAIT! Is Lamont a dude?!!!

I Ain't No Oprah said...

Lamont is one of those hermaphrodite kinda guys.

He wears capri pants.

Tex said...

french fried air? Why does it have to be french? Why aren't they called Irish Fried Potatoes? German? Spanish?

and I already wear Warm Vanilla Sugar body lotion ::sticks out arm:: see?? smell

Anonymous said...


It's quite nice... but I was really hoping for oatmeal raisin.

-- Lamont "But You Have Two Arms" Cranston

cake said...

Cocoa butter lotion is better...makes ya smell like cookies.

Not that I'd know.

Lois: I worked in a fast food kitchen for almost 3 years and folks kept telling me I'd get sick of the smell of fries eventually. Never happened. Am I a freak? Do I need paddling with french fries?