So I put some 'Mouse n' Rat poison' in the basement along the top of the foundation. The mices scurry around the edge of the foundation, eat the poison and die. The next day I go down to the basement, scoop up dead mices with the garden trough, and then throw them over my fence.
Seems simple. I should have just left it alone. But I ended up reading the box from the 'Mouse n' Rat poison'.
Turns out that the 'Mouse n' Rat poison' also can kill animals, birds, and humans.
Wouldn't it sell better if it was named 'Mouse n' Wifey n' Rats n' Birds n' Animals' n' Kids poison' ?
Or should I just get one of those humane traps for Wifey n' Kids?
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17 comments:
It also causes The Retahdation. Suddenly much is explained...
Cough...gag....you...mean...that...wasn't...food?!
We're as fit as a fiddle, but that poison sure killed our career. *sigh*
Hey, Ratt! You said it best yourselves: What goes around comes around, dudes.
Follow-up Question:
When you say you "throw them over your fence"...WHICH neighbor is angry with you?
Follow-up Comment:
Oh, my gosh. You killed Pixie and Dixie. You you you you JINKSY!
Nobody lives behind me...I threw them over that fence.
Cinderelly, Cinderelly...thanks for the treats, Cinderelly!
::seizes up::
::dies::
Yeah, yeah, yeah. "Nobody lives behind me." There you go again with the "Nobody lives behind me." HEY! I live behind you! I can't help that I'm invisible, and now I've got all of these contaminated mice corpsicles to deal with. They're all over my effin' invisible lawn. Don't go lookin' for my invisible holiday cookie platter this year, Jinksy.
Come and play with us no-opie!
Jesus! And I thought you gave me these treats because of your Reagan boy-crush! I'm a man and not a meese--I mean mouse!
slumps to floor, no oprah scoops up with garden implement and dumps over fence into invisible neighbor's yard
You're one of those scary fans that Roy warned us about, aren't you?
"Hey ::bangbang on hood of car::...I'm choking on poison here!...."
I'm going to have sex with your fence.
"Please don't squeeze the poison."
Make sure if you use one of those humane traps on your wife that you set her free at least a mile away.
Otherwise she'll just come back.
I swear I didn't have a mouse in me.
I'm gonna have sex with your invisible fence.
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