It seems enough time has passed that we can finally start throwing 9/11 parties! (In memory, of course.)
I thought I'd post a nice handy 9/11 party checklist in case you are planning a bash of your own!
- Large rectangular shaped cake (make it look like Manhattan!)
- Ash colored frosting for said cake.
- Scaled map of lower Manhattan to place on top of cake.
- Two popsicle sticks to represent the Towers would look cool....if unavailable just use two larger sized fast burning candles.
- Make sure cake is decorated with lots of plastic firemen and rescue workers (no dinosaurs)....it'll give it a nice realistic touch.
- Invitations could be made on mock-up Cantor-Fitzgerald stationary
- Party favors could include toy cell phones (pretend you're calling your loved ones!), bags of dust to throw on clothes, funny 'I'm Looking For So And So' flyers to attach to telephone poles, little 3 seconds audio clips of folks saying "Holy Fucking Shit", box cutters, bags of confetti to throw during 'the collapse' part of the party.
- Make sure you get a megaphone so someone can act out George Bush's inspiring speech at Ground Zero.
- Music should include all of those downer songs by Springsteen and pals. (No Dixie Chicks)
- Food should only be burgers, hot dogs, and apple pie.
- Beverages should only be Coca-Cola
- Transportaion should be provided by Chevrolet.
- Conversation topics should be limited to: "Kill the Towel-Heads" and "Kill the Sand-Niggaz"
- Party Games might include: Shock and Aweopoly, Pin the Bomb on the Martyr, Hide the WMDs, etc.
This is just a partial checklist. Just random ideas to get you thinking about your own party.
Be Creative! Be Unique!
But most of all....be solemn and reflective and sad.
14 comments:
Oh dear. I haven't fished out the 9/11 decorations box from last year from the attic yet. I'll be looking for my jumbo jet string of lights to hang around the windows. Oh it will take forever to untangle them. And you just know that a few of the lights won't work. I'll also call my loved ones in NY on Tuesday to ask if they're "still okay".
I'm just gonna roll out the biggest barbecue pit you ever saw.
Anyone got extra cole slaw?
-- Lamont "London Bridge is Falling Down" Cranston
Lamont has a barbecue pit?!
I don't care what you say. I'm decorating my cake with plastic dinosaurs. And of course, a little Katie Couric action figure.
Oh, and Elmo. Because it isn't a party without Elmo.
Can we hang out of the windows waving or arms?
Oh. Hey. Hey. No. Hey. No. Hey. No.
Americans may make fun of the World Trade Center coming down. That's our perogative as the aggrieved party. But people from across the pond? That's just uncalled for.
And your crown prince has a face like a chewed slipper. So there!
-- Lamont "London Bridge is STILL Falling Down" Cranston
Bella:
Don't listen to Lamont. He's just cranky because since 9/11, the only program his imaginary television will transmit is reruns of "Are You Being Served?"
Please wave all you want. And come to my party--I'll make my dinosaur topped cake in the shape of a Tardis in your honor. (Honour?)
Bella:
Don't listen to Lois. "I'll make my dinosaur topped cake in the shape of a Tardis in your honor."
Umm, that would be a box shape -- which is a shape a good number of cakes are already in. She ain't doin' no favors for you.
Come to MY 9/11 party. We're going to show the late 2001 clip where Gilbert Gottfried talks about taking a flight to Los Angeles "But we were delayed because we had an unscheduled stop at the Empire State Building."
As a special treat, you can laugh at that joke all you want. You just can't repeat it.
-- Lamont "London Underground Is Falling Even More Down Than It Already Is" Cranston
1) I know you're firm on the food issue, but if I happen to bring a delicious batch of piping hot, salty french fries, must they be freedom fries?
2) No, no, Lamont. If you closely examine the Declaration of Independence you will find a tiny asterisk that says, "While we are no longer in thrall to Kingy Boy, we shall share our dark humour/humor and laugh at each other forever--or whenever we can understand each other's jokes and accents" (or something like that--that was Ben Franklin's touch, you know what a rascal he was).
3) Well, I think dinosaurs would add a very nice touch to the cake. begins to flounce off, trips over vat of freedom fries, heads to plastic surgeon
Bella: But my cake will be bigger on the inside.
Granted, I'm not sure what I mean by that, but it's true. After all, everything you uread on the Internet is true, right?
So to sum up:
- We're all still going to hell.
- But that's okay cuz there'll be Tardis cakes there.
- Everyone is spelling "honour" correctly today.
- Lamont has a BBQ pit.
Did I miss anything?
(*The pastry kind of cake, that is, not me...I'm not a Tardis.)
Table for, what, 10? Close to the fire okay with you folks?
Thanks for party invite, IANO! Should I bring both my catcher's gloves to the party or only the blond one?
No wonder Lamont is grumpy if he has to watch Are You Being Served on his imaginary television. I used to work in a shop that looked a bit like that.
The Tardis cake sounds delicious though......
Mmmmm
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