Friday, September 14, 2007

Red Sox / Yankees

This weekend.


Some strikes. Some balls.

Players will spit, scratch, and spit some more.

Fans will cheer, will boo, will make wacky signs.

Remy and D-O will giggle.

Johnny Damon will laugh while standing in the batter's box.

Tito will rock back and forth and adjust his cap ad nauseum.

JD Drew will probably suck....or maybe not.

My wife will swear at Dice-K, comment on how ugly Youk is, drool over Teks thighs, make fun of Coco's hair, quietly appreciate the wonder that is Mike Lowell, and possibly pump her fist if Papi wins the game.

Birthday boy David J. will pace my neighborhood, curse out Francona, and shake his head when Tek grounds into an inning ending double play.

A-Rod will get drilled. Twice. Benches will clear.

Manny will make some kinda dramatic return. Or maybe have a new hair style. The Vegas line is 5 to 2 on the new hairstyle.

Sox will win only one of the three games. Yanks will win the first game with a dramatic late inning comeback. I will vomit in my mouth and still taste it in the morning. Sox should easily win the second game...they might even send Posada to the hospital after the game. You know, for tests. The third game the Sox will start to feel sorry for The Yankees and let them win (in a close one) up their confidence for the upcoming spanking by the Angels in the playoffs.

And that my friends is my weekend.


bacon ace said...

OMG! Wifey and ex mrs bacon ace should hang out.

youk said...

You made me cry.

cake said...

I've bought a whole bunch of air fresheners to set out around the know, to combat the stench that seems to seep out of the screen when the Yankees are on.

(Tek's thighs?? Really? ::makes mental note::)

Spud said...

My wife, too, will swear at Dice-K until he is put on a plane back to china, comment on how ugly Youk is(he reminds me of Wayne S. back in the day), drool over Teks thighs, make fun of Coco's hair, quietly wish that Mike Lowell was her husband, and definatly hold her hand in the air untill I give a her the high 5 when Papi wins the game.

manny said...

I got some great tips from you and The Hoag the other night. I think I'm going to try bows this time.

I Ain't No Oprah said...




Sparkle Plenty said...

The ghost of Nelson de La Rosa will come back and bite Johnny Damon in the ankle. Laugh at THAT, laughing boy!

(Oh, there's nothing uglier than the bitterness of a former Johnny Damon groupie...I can't help it. I liked him. He chased cars for exercise.)

ex mrs bacon ace said...

My prediction: I'll be at the game tonight. BOO YEAH!!! no need to predict. i WILL be at the game tonight.

Anonymous said...


I can understand how the smell of victory would be foreign to Red Sox fans, they having smelled it only once in the last, oh, 89 years or so, but trust me, you can get used to it.

We did.

-- Lamont "26 and Counting" Cranston

t said...

Spud - I have to agree with Nooprah...your Wayne reference is a classic.

And tell the Mrs, that I wish Lowell was my husband as well.

cake said...


I got almost the same speech from my Mother (the Yankees fan) over lunch...only she calls Boston's team the "Pink Sox."


Mike Lowell's Actual Wife said...

Oh, and Spud -- Also tell the Mrs. that Dice-K's from JAPAN.

chinese guy said...

Rooks rike a rink to me.

youk said...

It's your fault I got hurt!

*cries some more*

Anonymous said...

Hey, how's that "edit your blog after it's posted" function working for ya, NoOprah? Still able to use it? No problems going into the posts we've all read and changing your predictions? That's not giving you any trouble, is it?

-- Lamont "Ministry of Truth" Cranston

chubby pumpkin said...

Damn, Lamont beat me to it. I hate it when that happens!

I Ain't No Oprah said...

Edit my blog??

Why would I do that? Did I spell something wrong?

chubby pumpkin said...

Did I spell something wrong?


cake said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Anonymous said...

Still says "Sox will win two out of three."

NoOprah must be sleeping in today.

-- Lamont "Screw Revisionist History -- Give Us Revisionist Algebra" Cranston

Anonymous said...

Shenanigans! I call shenanigans on this further Stalinist revision of this blog entry! Not a day ago it CLEARLY boasted that the Sox would win two out of three games from the Yankees at Fenway!

What does 1978 smell like?

-- Lamont "Dent" Cranston