Friday, September 28, 2007

That President of Iran is so gay

Early in the week he spoke at Columbia University and said some darn right crazy stuff.

Lots of crazy stuff. Him being crazy and all.

But the one that got in most folks craw was the one about Iran not having homosexuals.

Now is this just a fluke that homosexuals don't live in Iran? Or was CrazyPrez saying that Iranians in and of themselves can't be homosexuals because of something inside them?

Who the heck knows.

What I do know is that I must be Iranian. Because if I was Not Iranian I could be The Gay. And I aint The Gay.

Which actually brings me to the whole point of the blog.

Not Iranians have been called a lot of things over the years. In my lifetime we've called homosexuals: queers, fags, homos, and most recently, gay. None of them sound like good names.

But now we're calling them Not Iranians. What if they were born in the states? Do we call them American Not Iranians?

And what about Not Iranian slogans?

I'm Not Iranian...Get used to it!

Not Iranian Nation?

What about TV shows?

Not Iranian Eye For the Straight Guy?

And can we just go back to using gay as in meaning happy? No?

Gay means retard now, correct? And homo means milk and fag means cigarette and queer means Hoagy...and and and....

And in England we still bum fags (meaning ask for a free cigarette)? But in the States bumming a fag means you're Not Iranian?

I'm confused.

But not confused in the I might be Not Iranian way. Believe you me.....I'm Iranian. 100% Iranian.

Not that there's anything wrong with being Not Iranian. I just happen to be way of Armenia and Ireland.

Sorry for today's blog. It was wicked gay.


cake said...

So to sum up:

You're yappy.

mahmoud said...

I had The Gay once...but then I moved to Iran and it straightened me right out!

maddog said...

So if you're from Iran, then you hate America. I'll be calling Cheney's 800-GOGETEM hotline. Enjoy Guantanamo. Unless you retract the comment. Wait...that might mean you're....

Lois Lane said...

I think the fact that no gay people live in Iran proves one thing:

Them gay people is smart.

I Ain't No Oprah said...

Weren't you Not Iranian for one wild night in college?

Lois Lane said...

Wouldn't you like to know?

I Ain't No Oprah said...

It's on Not YouTube.

Sparkle Plenty said...

Dear I Ain't No Oprah,

From your comment on Stuck with a Comb's blog, I deduce that you are a non-Iranian FURRY! Plus, today you took six(6) pseudo-paragraphs to get to the point! I can't trudge through all this text. I had to have a coffee break after "Now is this just a fluke..."

Yappy Plenty

I Ain't No Oprah said...

Dear PlentyO'Dykey McYappy,


cake said...

I just skimmed his post, Sparkle. I was too busy thinking about cookies to actually read it all.

Sparkle Plenty said...

Dear Furry McChitChat Yappenheimer,

That's okay. See that it never happens again. I limit myself to only 18,000 words per post. I suggest you do the same.

cake said...

What if the Beatles sang about me, Sparkle and Lamont?

- And Your Bird Can Yap
- Twist and Chat
- Yellow Boat That's Designed to Go Under the Water and Let People Be on it Without Drowning
- Maxwell's Silvertongued Talker
- It's a Longwinded and Winding Comment

I'm the best at making fun of myself...::preens::

Sparkle Plenty said...

Okay, the Yellow Boat one is THE best.

1) All My Yapping
2) Chatty B. Goode
3) I Want to Tell You (no edit needed)
4) I'm Gonna Sit Right Down and Write 18,000 Words
5) Here, There, and Everyword
6) P.S. I Like You and Who Knows Maybe I Even Love You But What is Love Anyway Hey Can I Have A Cookie
7) She Said She Said She Said She Said She Said She Said She Said She Said She Said She Said

Real life? I don't talk much--I mostly making sick-cat sounding noises.

I wish maddog had a blog.

Anonymous said...


Preening is so Not Iranian.

And you forgot

Paperyap Whiner


Yap Naturally

All My Yapping

The Ballad of John and Yappy


Day Chatter

Shutting a Hole (Not!)

Happiness is a Strong Jawline

I'm Happy Just To Chat With You

I Saw Her Opining There

And, of course...

I Want You (She's So Yappy)

Among others.

-- Lamont "Props to NoOprah, This Was a Brilliant Post" Cranston

Anonymous said...


All My Yapping! Jinx! You Owe me a beer!

-- Lamont "I said it before you did" Cranston

cake said...

"She Said She Said She Said She Said She Said She Said She Said She Said She Said She Said"


cake said...


::stops preening and quickly sticks hands in pockets::

Anonymous said...

Didn't Senator Larry "Spare a Square" Craig say the same thing about Idaho?

Maybe we could include, as a synonym, "Not Idahoian" alongside "Not Iranian"?

Although if Not Idahoian were alongside Not Iranian, that would be pretty Not Iranian.

-- Lamont "State of Confusion" Cranston

EGE said...

I am Iranian but I fantasize about being Not-Iranian.

I think that makes me a Kurd.

I Ain't No Oprah said...

I thought the Kurds were in IRAQ....fighting the Sunni-Bono's or something?

You aint Iranian.

EGE said...

Ahem, kurds are everywhere...