Well, I just got back from fighting the fires in Southern California.
I think I'll settle down and watch me some baseball tonight....I wonder who is playing?
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"It's over for us. If this oil comes ashore, it's just over for us," Rowell said angrily, rubbing his forehead. "Nobody wants no oily shrimp."
"Oh, That Wifey!"
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My dog.
23 comments:
I think the Rockies are playing tonight... because THE POWER OF CHRIST COMPELLS THEM!
(Big article in the NY Times yesterday about devotees in the Colorado clubhouse. It's almost enough to make one root for the Boston Secular Humanists.)
Jesus does not have a favorite baseball team. He loves them all equally*.
-- Lamont "In A Handbasket" Cranston
* Except the San Diego Padres. For some reason I've never been able to fully ascertain, He's really honked off at the San Diego Padres.
I heard Rudy G. is now a Red Sox fan.
He was getting my vote anyhow...
I want you to vote for Hilary. You know you secretly lust after her cankles. Now, gaze into my peanut chocolatey goodness...you are getting sleepy...sleeeee-pyyyyyyy.
Well, at least the Rockies won't be stealing any bases...it is a sin, after all.
Taco Bell is giving away a free crunchy beef taco the moment either team steals a base.
Look it up.
This means that one fleet individual can, in fact, feed thousands with a single action.
Blessed are the base-stealers...
If Jesus was on the Colorado Rockies, what position would He play? And if the water cooler kept turning into a nice chianti, would that count as a foreign substance?
-- Lamont "I Was Already Consigned To Hell -- May As Well Enjoy My Time Here" Cranston
Gee! I don't know about any particular baseball game happening tonight. But, you can probably catch some repeats on ESPN Classic. Or, there's a Knitting Cage Match on the craft channel tonight! I'm betting on Aunt Lila from Tuscaloosa--she's tough.
Can she turn the doupble-loop play?
You betcha--she's killer at that! Anyhoo, stock up on the best candy for the cage match! It's an 100% Best Snax event.
Nice job on the fires, by the way. Only 2000 homes lost!
(Don't root for my team, okay?)
And if he does root for your team, he better not have his "lucky" hat on!
The 'lucky hat' is still resting on the floor, next to the bed, in the same postion since you told me to take it off during game 4.
Though I will be eating lucky fish and chips tonight.
And the helping with the fires.
I'm hoping for another Canadian Soldier infestation.
Please, God? If you're listening? Just a few little bugs? C'mon, you know you wanna! The Rockies are all kinds of blasphemous, it's true, ignore all those articles about how they're devoutly religious....they're, ummm, SATANISTS! Yeah, that's it.
The question...
the REAL question...
is which team has the worst mascot?
Is it Colorado's Dinger the Dinosaur, who is one Barney-trademark-infringement lawsuit away from retirement, or...
Wally the Green Monster, who looks like the results of a steroid-enhanced Grover who has just emerged from a vat of yellow dye?
(Yes, I KNOW Wally isn't yellow. Grover is blue, see, and when a blue muppet -- ah, hell, what's the use?)
Where is mascot assaulter Randall Simon when you need him? (Note: Randall Simon is generally acknowledged as an all-around nice guy whose playful attempt at humor went awry.)
-- Lamont "It's Not Trivia If It's Used Somewhere" Cranston
Man, you could have just gone for Oscar the Grouch* and saved us the science lesson.
*He's green.
It's not easy being green!
Bacon Ace:
But he doesn't look like Oscar the Grouch, either on or off steroids... he looks like Grover (green) on steroids.
-- Lamont "Colorblind" Cranston
This time of year always begs the question:
If the Hulk fought the Red Sox, who would win?
Waiiiiiiit a cotton-pickin' second. Wasn't there some post about Wendy's here? Was that a "ghost post"?
"If the Hulk fought the Red Sox, who would win?"
I could take the big guy on singlehandedly!
Quiet around these parts today.
Too quiet.
I can't tell you who's playing, but I can tell you Who's on first.
So to sum up:
Someone is too busy fighting wildfires, eating junk food, and polishing his (un)lucky hat to bother blogging.
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