Tuesday, October 09, 2007

A simple note.

Last night I stayed up late and watched the NY Yankees crash and burn and go home for the season.

Wifey had gone to bed a few hours earlier so I left her this note:

Dear Wifey,

The Yankees Suck.



And somehow Wifey wakes up, reads said note, and thinks The Yankees won.

A simple note, correct? Nicely summed up. To the point. The. Yankees. Suck. What's not to get? They lost. They suck. If they won why would I say they sucked?

Their season is over because of their suckiness. The Yankees Suck. It's true. They suck. They're bad. Stink-O. Crappola. Done. Finished. I don't have to even think of them until April. But I will. Because. They suck. I hate them.

Little known FACT about Yankee players: Not only do they smell bad....but they smell like burnt hair. Every darned one of them.

Or is that sulfur?


cake said...

Nope, that sounds like they won and you were annoyed about it.

How'd you screw up a simple note like that?! Pretty impressive.

bacon ace said...

Was part of their loss due to their uniform change? You know, wearing carpenter pants on the field? Those hammers make it hard to run.

cake said...

Waitasec, Bacon Ace...are you saying that NoOprah was dressed like a Yankee player when he was wearing his carpenter pants on Sunday???

Oh my.

Lois Lane said...

I'm with Wifey on this one. I would have thought they had won too.

But they didn't. And isn't that lovely?

Anonymous said...


You know my felings about the Yankees in general...

but yeah, we did stink up the joint in the post-season.

Good luck against Cleveland. Boston has the best 3-4 combination I've seed (Ortiz defines clutch: Manny is Manny) but your boyos are not going to have a good time with the Tribe's top two pitchers.

It's gonna be a hell of a series.

-- Lamont "Crazy Chief Wahoo" Cranston

P.S. Your note sounded like you were infuriated by the damned Yankees pulling one out on Cleveland. No more apples in the vending machines!

I Ain't No Oprah said...

How does 'The Yankees Suck' sound like they won???/

If they won I would have written:

Dear Wifey,

The Yankees are awesome.*


*vomits in mouth.

(I would NEVER write 'The Yankees are awesome')

Lois Lane said...

>>I would NEVER write 'The Yankees are awesome<<

You just did.


cake said...

DAMN! Lois beat me to it!

Anonymous said...


I would've take a page from Britney Spears and written "Oops... they... did-it-again".

::Vomits in mouth::

-- Lamont "Hit Me, Baby, One More Time" Cranston

maddog said...

I've heard that the touch of religious objects makes Steinbrenner's skin sizzle.

the clean up woman said...

I've heard that the touch of religious objects makes Steinbrenner's skin sizzle.

And it's important to note that, around here, a pair of red socks counts as a religious object.

j. torres said...

Anyone know if IANO is hiring? Seems I might be looking for work soon.

the real j. torre said...

If you're going to impersonate me, you could at least spell my name right!

Johnny damon said...

If I say sorry, can I come back?

ghost of nelson de la rosa said...

The smell? Actually it is the pungent aroma of Loserocity.

a member of the lollipop guild said...

Has anyone seen my camel ?