So I'm driving to work this morning and the car in front of me had a bumper sticker that said: I LOVE MOUNTAINS (the word LOVE was actually a red heart which made it more meaningful)
I LOVE MOUNTAINS.
He was almost making some kinda statement like there are people out there THAT HATE MOUNTAINS.
Hey Buddy, nobody hates mountains. Take a deep breath. Mountains are just fine. It's the one thing people of Planet Earth agree on. We all love mountains. We just don't wear it on our sleeve like you do.
When did you find out you had this great love for mountains? Do you dream about mountains? Do you write poetry to the mountain? Do you buy the mountain presents? Ever kiss the said mountain? Hold hands with the mountain? Tell it you love it?
Do you love them all? Even the stupid ones? How about the mountains that have avalanches and kill children? Do you love THOSE kind?
Or the volcanic mountain and it's life ending molton lava? Jerk.
You just can't make a blanket statement that you I LOVE MOUNTAINS. You love SOME mountains. Probably just one or two that you ski on and help erode. Jerk.
Mountain eroding jerk.
Maybe you should get a bumper sticker that says: I'M A MOUNTAIN ERODING JERK.
Cuz you are.
And WE HATE MOUNTAIN ERODING JERKS.
It's the second thing everyone on the Planet Earth can agree on.
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18 comments:
I love lamp.
Oh man I went hiking the past 2 weekends. Now I feel like a douche.
I'm sorry mountains that I walked all over.
And the first thing would be WHAT?
That the Yankees smell like burnt hair? That mashed potatoes are a great invention? That you might actually suit a Gilligan hat?
What?! Don't just leave us hanging like this!
I no like mountains.
Dear Cake,
If you would actually READ the post instead of skimming you'd see I mention TWO things we all agree on.
Maybe I should add a third...something about your retardation perhaps?
I love Mountains. Me at "Mount" Monadanock.
img src=http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v285/mcfitch/Mountain.jpg
No wait that didn't work.
http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v285/mcfitch/Mountain.jpg
You know what? I love mountains but not this shit blog tool!
CRAP!
Oh well, at least I didn't take off my lucky hat and cause the Sox to LOSE. ::taser, taser::
Call me crazy, but I believe that wearing a gilligan hat would be very lucky.
Oh. Off-topic?
Okay. Mountains?
I prefer molehills. They make me feel more in command.
To sum up: No Oprah is Mr. Twisty-Britches today!
And I'm a damn skimmer and have been awarded ten demerit points and sent to sit in the corner for the remainder of the afternoon.
::sulks and eats candy furtively when no one's looking::
That's my car. Mountains being a synonym for hooters.
Maybe he liked Brokeback Mountain but wasn't yet ready to admit his sexual preference, so for now the sticker says I LOVE Mountains. It seemed a safer bet.
I hate the stickers that say Baby on Board. They make me want to ram the back of the car. As Jack Dee (miserable British comedian) once said 'I was going to crash into the back of you, but now I see you have a baby on board, I won't bother'.
I hate the ones that say 'Jesus Loves You' as well. Jesus doesn't love me because otherwise he wouldn't have let it rain on me this evening when I'd washed my hair to go out. Or put a huge spider on my stairs.
I'm in a bad mood now.
"I hate the stickers that say Baby on Board. They make me want to ram the back of the car."
I hate those ones too...I was actually going to post almost this exact same comment earlier but then I got scolded for not reading the post carefully enough and sent to sit in the corner. ::eats more candy::
Cake: I hope that candy has no raisins. If it does spit it out and sit in a different corner eating different candy.
::mumbled response::
(Translation: It's toffee, is that okay?)
Oooh, toffee is yummy.
*Jayne hands Cake a toothbrush*
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