Enough with Hilllary week.
We found a NAZI to answer YOUR questions! He not only is a Doctor, but a father, champion bowler, and all around good guy.
He'il answer just about anything.
An example:
Q: "Why do hummingbirds flap their wings so fast?"
DOCTOR NAZI: "Because they're not jews."
See how simple that is?
Another example:
Q: "When should I teach my son to ride a bicycle?"
DOCTOR NAZI: "As soon as a jew opens a bike shop near you....that way the bike is free"
So fire away and ASK DOCTOR NAZI*
* the views of Doctor Nazi are his and his alone. IANO is an equal opportunity hate monger.
It's a gas, gas, gas!
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About Me
I might.
"It's over for us. If this oil comes ashore, it's just over for us," Rowell said angrily, rubbing his forehead. "Nobody wants no oily shrimp."
"Oh, That Wifey!"
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My dog.
58 comments:
Dear Doctor Nazi:
My blonde, blue eyed son is celebrating his fifth birthday today. What would be the best present for him?
Your pal,
Lois
Dear Doctor Nazi:
1. Can Hitler make a rock so heavy He can't lift it?
2. Why do fools fall in love?
3. Our mailroom just installed an automated letter sorting system called the Marvex-3000, but letters keep getting clogged in the first-level sorting grid. Is there anything that can be done about this?
4. Under what circumstances is "I was only following orders" considered a viable legal defense?
5. How would you rescue a handful of small, plastic, confused dinosaurs from mortal peril at the hands of robotmen?
6. If Adolf Eichmann could be any kind of tree, what sort of tree would he be?
7. Did I fire six bullets, or only five?
8. What do you have for number eight?
9. Who killed Bambi?
10. How much time will Dr. Nazi spend answering questions posed to him from a Jew?
-- Lamont "Briskin" Cranston
Dear Doctor Nazi,
I have more pressing questions.
What exactly is in Marmite?
Dear Doctor Nazi:
1) Is it true that IANO has the hots for Hillllllary and, if so, what should he do about it?
2) If an insane hate-mongerer falls in a bunker but there's nobody around to hear it, does he make a sound?
3) What makes a shoe fancier, having a heel or being on Hoag's foot?
4) Who's better, the Stones or the Beatles?
Thanking you in advance,
Cake
Dear Jayne,
Marmite is people.
Love,
Doctor Nazi
Dear Doctor Nazi,
How can I get the taste of people out of my mouth?
It haunts me.
Dear Doctor Nazi:
What's up doc?
Love,
Bugs
Dear Bugs,
Not much...how about with you?
Love,
Doctor Nazi
Dear Doctor Nazi,
How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood?
Best,
Woodchuck
Dear Doctor Nazi,
What came first, me or the egg?
Love,
Chicken
Dear Doctor Nazi:
Are you a real doctor or did the BBC just make you one, too?
Love,
D. Tennant
Dear Chicken,
The non-jews came first.
Love,
Doctor Nazi
Dear David,
Doctor Who?
Love Dr. Nazi
Dear Doctor Phil:
I just adore your talk show!
Love,
A big fan
Dear Clueless,
Please follow these two gentlemen. They'll get you comfortable.
Thank you,
D. Nazi
Dear Doctor Nazi:
I'm thinking of invading a nearby country...do you have any tips for me?
Love,
C.A. Nuck
Dear Doctor Nazi:
I'm making a peanut butter and jam sandwich but I only have brown bread. Do I have to go to the store and buy white bread?
Love,
Worried in Warsaw
Dear Worried:
Yes.
Glad to be of assistance,
Doc N.
Dear Doctor Nazi:
I hate chew!
Sincerely,
Crazy Lady
Dear Crazy lady,
Hate is a very strong word.
Love,
Doctor Nazi
Dear Doctor Nazi:
1. What comment could have been so vile, so repellant as to have merited being deleted from this comment board?
2. What should Jewish readers who find themselves horrified yet vastly amused at today's postings do to alleviate their sense of guilt?
3. What should non-Jewish, non-Aryan readers who find themselves vastly amused at today's postings do to alleviate their sense of guilt?
4. What should Aryan readers who find themselves amused at today's postings do?
5. Admit it: You've got a little Jew in you, don't you?
Effervescently yours,
-- Lamont "J'accuse" Cranston
Dear Doctor Nazi:
Does this outfit make me look fat?
Love,
Heavy Helen
Dear Lamont:
1. It had a typo in it. Nazis hate typos.
2. Send cookies to IANO.
3. Send cookies to IANO.
4. Send cookies to IANO.
5. Only the gingerbread Jew I just ate.
Hope this helps,
Doc N.
Dear Heavy Helen:
Yes but you're so white and blonde and blue-eyed, I hardly notice.
What're you doing tonight?
Sincerely,
Doctor Nazi
Dear Doctor Nazi:
I'll trade you my blonde, blue eyed wife for Poland, if you like.
Love,
Bill
Dear Doctor Nazi:
Is it true you used to be a Mouseketeer?
Love,
JustCurious
Dear Doctor Nazi:
What exactly are you a doctor of?
Medicinally yours,
Lamont "Control Subject" Cranston
P.S. Don't get too excited about brothels in Poland. "Brothels" are how they refer to tiny bowls of clear soup.
Dear Lamont,
I am a Doctor of Jewry.
Thank you for your query,
Doctor Nazi
Dear Doctor Nazi,
Why do I hate the Jew so much?
Curious in Berlin
Dear Curious in Berlin,
I think you'll need to pick up my three volume tome on that subject.
Make sure to read chapter 49: They Pee In Your Soup.
Love,
Doctor Nazi
Dear Dr. Nazi,
What song titles should we use on our new CD?
All our lovin',
The Jewish Beatles
Dear Jewish Beatles,
1. All My Kibitzin'
2.Back In The B.O.X.C.A.R.
3.While My Schmitzingrupper Gently Weeps
Hope that gets you started!
Doctor 'Robert' Nazi
Dear Doctor Nazi,
What should I have for dinner tonight?
Regards,
IANO
Dear Doctor. Nazi,
What color hooded puppy coat should I get my German Shepard Kaiser-powder blue or lavendar?
And why is it that every time I go to the convenience store in the morning before work to buy a single stupid Diet Coke there's an old lady in front of me with a fist full of scratch tickets she wants to have checked so she can see if she won anything and if she does spends twenty minutes picking out NEW scratch tickets while the line behind her of people who actually have to get to work starts to stretch outside the door as we wait for her to say "Give me 3 Number 8's, a ten....no, make that a twelve." Is it legal to kill her?
Thank you.
Juanita
Dear Juanita:
It's only legal to kill her if she's a member of the previously listed four food groups.
You're welcome!
Doctor Nazi
"Jews, Gypsies, Lesbians, and Undesirables."
Crap, I'm included!
(And, no, I'm not a lesbian...not that there's anything wrong with that.)
Dear Doctor Nazi,
I think I might belong to one of the four food groups too. An "undesireable." To George Clooney. And Denzel Washington.
Now what?
Would killing the Scratch Ticket Lady in the store at 7 A.M. make me desireable?
Respectfully,
Juanita
And YES.....
I spelled "undesirable" incorrectly. It doesn't mean there's anything wrong with me. Right Doctor Nazi? Right?
Respectfully,
Juanita
Dear Juanita,
What are you wearing?
Love,
Doctor Nazi
Dear Doctor Nazi,
Who or what is Jumpin' Jack Flash?
Best,
Confused.
Dear Confused,
Jumpin' Jack Flash is a Gas Gas Gas.
Regards,
Doctor Nazi
Dear Doctor Nazi:
I just got a pile of groceries in and realized I forgot my favourite cereal. Whose fault is that?
Thanking you in advance,
Cake
Dear Doctor Nazi:
What list?
Curiously yours,
Cake
Dear Cake:
If you'll just follow Clueless in Poland, I think all your questions will be answered.
Happy trails!
Doc Nazi
Dear Doctor Nazi,
Will the Patriots win tonight?
Love,
T. Brady
Dear T.
Yes....they have fewer Jews on their team.
And play the over.
Good luck,
Doctor Nazi
Dear Tony,
Beats the hell out of me??!!
You just stumped the Good Doctor!
Humbly your,
Dr. Nazi
Howdy Dr Nazi
Why didn't Kinky get voted our Gov'nor?
bye ya'll
Tex
Dear Tex,
Jew wish to know?
Because.
Peace-out,
Doctor Nazi
Dear Doctor Nazi,
I'm wearing my typical professional teacher attire-black leather skirt,knee high boots with fishnet stockings,and red shirt with plundging neckline.
Any problems with that?
Dear Dr.Nazi
As we know, many of us had to ...disguise ourselves after the late unpleasantness, not out of fear, but to facilitate our return to global domination.
Here, we stand at the cusp of the new REICH, and I find myself confused.
It is evident from family resemblance that three of our children are competing for dominance, the sons of Rudolph Hess and Baron Von Strucker, and the daughter of Ilsa, She-wolf of the SS.
I do not like the way Mitt Hess treats his animals. Cages are for people, not pets.
Hilsary seems to be appealing to the shwartzers a little more than a good Aryan girl should, ja?
That leafs Rudi, the spirit and image of the Von Strucker clan, but how can I possibly vote for someone who calls himself Jewliani?
Dear Doctor Nazi:
I'm watching football, is it too early to have a drink?
Thank you!
Dear Couch Warming Looza:
If you're toasting Mr. Hitler, it's never too early!
Hope that helps.
Doctor Nazi
Dear Doctor Nazi:
I just dropped the remote and I can't reach it unless I get up off the couch.
What should I do?
Thanks for being there for me!
Dear Couch Warming Looza:
Get a Jew to get it for you.
And then send him to me.
Sincerely,
Doctor Nazi
Dear Doctor Nazi:
I got my remote back and I toasted Hitler with my glass of cider.
But now I'm hungry...what should I do?
Thanks yet again!
Dear Couch Warming Looza:
Haven't you got anything better to do? Okay, very well...for a snack, you should have a Heineken, some sauerkraut, some excellent german sausages, and a Jew.
Now please stop yapping at me.
Doctor Nazi
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