Wednesday, January 30, 2008

On my way home tonight I'm gonna stop for a steak.

>>>>>>PORT-AU-PRINCE, Haiti (Jan. 29) - It was lunchtime in one of Haiti's worst slums, and Charlene Dumas was eating mud.With food prices rising, Haiti's poorest can't afford even a daily plate of rice, and some take desperate measures to fill their bellies.<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<

That was in the news today.

>>>>>Charlene, 16 with a 1-month-old son, has come to rely on a traditional Haitian remedy for hunger pangs: cookies made of dried yellow dirt<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<

So was that.

>>>>>Though she likes their buttery, salty taste, Charlene said the cookies also give her stomach pains.<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<,,

And that.

>>>>Marie Noel, 40, sells the cookies in a market to provide for her seven children. Her family also eats them.<<<<<<<<<<<<

And that.

So to sum up.

Folks are eatin' mud cookies and I'm gonna eat steak and mashed potatoes. Something is wrong.


Sparkle Plenty said...


Redbeard76 said...

So to sum up:

Haitians are ugly dirteaters.

Redbeard76 said...

Don't forget the mac and cheese with your steak.

I Ain't No Oprah said...

Dear Redbeard,

Nobody said anything about the Haitians being in army.

(do you know a broad in the army? seem rather sensitive about them being ugly)

cake said...

It's too sad for a smart remark. That's mighty sad.

Go stand in the corner! No dirt OR Mac 'n Cheese for you!

I'm pretty, I'm pretty!

Lois Lane said...

What Sparkle said.

Redbeard76 said...

Can someone get these Haitians some food that doesn't include the ingredient dirt? And possibly some cosmetic surgery?

But for the record, yeah, this is sad news. And I don't have a problem with ugly people, including those in the armed services. It just seemed like a huge leap - it was the roadside bomb remark that was particularly distasteful as I have 2 brothers in the Guards.

I Ain't No Oprah said...

I didn't make the roadside bomb comment. Probably Cake did.

And if I was in the Army I'd drive ON the road...not the sides (cuz that's where the bombs are)

Anonymous said...


We always knew you were a bleedin' heart liberal...

Now, it's been often said that people eat a peck of dirt before they die. Seems to me the Haitians are throwing off the curve twice:

First, they're eating more than their fair share of dirt.

Second, their lifespans are shorter than ours, meaning that they get MORE dirt over less time.

Those bastards.

Something needs to be done about this. I'd say we should express our disgust by throwing dirt at them, but they'd probably mistake it for an act of nutritional kindness.

-- Lamont "Baby Doc" Cranston

P.S. Wouldn't it be a bitch if it turned out that dried yellow dirt cookies were the most delicious thing since steak and mashed potatoes and mac 'n' cheese, and in our snobbery we were denying ourselves?

I Ain't No Oprah said... Lamont has me craving dirt cookies!!

Life is so unfair being rich Americans!

we NEVER get dirt cookies!!

Lois Lane said...

Okay. I'm sold. Let's get cooking!

::throws out batch of Chow Mein Chewies and heads out into yard to look for yellow dirt::

cake said...

Yup, it was me...I'm sorry, Redbeard, it was over the line and I didn't mean to offend anyone. I also didn't realize you were truly upset by it or I would've confessed sooner so nobody else got the blame.

If I ever get down into your neck of the woods, there's a drink on me. And Kraft Mac 'n Cheese. AND cookies.

(Though not dirt ones.)

Doctor Nazi said...

Even I'm ashamed of you, Cake.

Redbeard76 said...

No worries, Cake, I'm already over it.

Now about this Haitian lady, I hope she's not feeding her 1 month old baby the cakes o' dirt. Haven't they heard of mother's milk? How odd. And if I see any Haitians on my way back from getting my lunch, I'll share some of my ramen noodles with them, since that's what I'm having today.

Cap'n Entrails said...

Dirt comes out of Haitian nipples.

Sparkle Plenty said...

Cakie: Yep.
Redbeard: Crunchy topping.
Iano: Flutie!
Lamonymous: Nice bikini!
Lois: Toss the chewies ovah here!
Dr. Nazi: How can it be wrong when it's so reich?

I'd give all of you George Washington Hat cookies 'cept it turns out my relatives stole the recipe from Clinky's relatives. Apparently, they were cookie pirates.

cake said...

I wanna be a cookie pirate!!!

Tex said...

I think id rather eat Jacks tacos

jed said...

Mmmmmmmmmmmm dirt tacos!

Sparkle Plenty said...

Garrrrr...we're shippin' out at dawn tomorrow, Cakie. Bring the flour!

Gimme taco, Tex! Gimme taco!

jack said...

Hands off my tacos, Texan broad!

cousin saul said...

1. "All you need is Dirt"
2. "Why don't we do it in the road...and then eat it"
3. "she loves dirt...yeah, yeah, yeah"

Stupid game.

I Ain't No Oprah said...

4. Hey DirtCookie

5. I Am The DirtCookie


7.Ob-La-Di, Ob-La-Dirt

8.Maxwell's Brown DirtCookie

9. Lucy in the Sky with Dirt

10.Happiness is a Warm DirtCookie

pervert said...

I'd rather eat pussy.

pervert said...

But not dirty pussy.

Tex said...

jack keeps his tacos in a box. and Jack that's Mizz Broad to you.

pervert...just throw some water on it and it'll be fine

Redbeard76 said...

I'd rather have a mud cookie than a shit biscuit.