Saturday, August 12, 2006

I have scientific data to back this up.

Other than robbery victims I'm guessing that most people that get murdered are jerks.

Why else would someone want to kill them?

Bonnie Blakley? Jerk.

Nicole Simpson? Jerk

JFK? Jerk

Lee Harvey Oswald? Jerk

Scott Peterson's wife and unborn baby? Jerks.

Okay so maybe my theory has some holes in it....but for the most part we're....ummmm....I'm mean they... aren't killing nice people.

So I just want to go on the record and thank all of the murderers of jerks.

Thank you Jerk Killers!

11 comments:

Cake said...

Excellent, so nobody will ever murder me since I'm not a jerk?

I think I'll have dinner in the bad part of town tonight, then. Awesome...

I Ain't No Oprah said...

Not so fast there Mr. Cake...

Anonymous said...

I'm a jerk, and nobody's ever murdered me. Not that I can remember, anyway

I Ain't No Oprah said...

Dear Momenger,

Though you're still alive and haven't been murdered the Bush Adminstration has uncovered numerous plots to end your life.

Cake said...

Mr. Cake!?

Anonymous said...

Dear nooprah,

Well, they sure are a crack team in the murder business, since I've done pretty much the same thing everyday for about 10 years.

Did they hire Barney Fife to murder me?

Anonymous said...

Cake,

I think you should put out a hit on nooprah just for calling you "Mr." Cake. I'll chip in since he used my daughter's cd as a coaster (even though my daughter found that to be quite amusing)

Anonymous said...

Whoa nooprah-you are in BIG LEAGUE trouble now.

Rule # 1" NEVER coment on a woman's weight. Especially thighs. And you know that.

I'd watch my back if I were you-Cake probably has an awful lot of state of the art well sharpened knives in her kitchen.

I Ain't No Oprah said...

I didn't say anything about Cake's thighs.

See? Nothing up there...

Cake said...

Ahh, he made a weight crack and then cowardly deleted it, huh? Hmmm.

Cake said...

Dear Miss NoOprah:

I'd stay away from the windows if I were you. Oh, and don't worry, the brakes on your car work just fine.

::whistles innocently::

Yours truly,

Cake