I think all sane people can agree that Frito Brand Corn Chips are the quintessential salted snack food (followed closely by Mister Salty Pretzels and Planters Cashews)
Now take a look at that bag of Fritos that are on your desk. Hopefully you have the regular Fritos and not the Frito Scoops (though Frito Scoops are actually better)...on the bag is a picture of like 8 or 9 corn chips and in small lettering on the bag it states: IMAGE IS ENLARGED TO SHOW TEXTURE.
Are we really buying Fritos for their texture? Don't we buy sofas and sweaters for their texture? We buy Fritos for their goodness. Their salty goodness.
So anyhow I became mesmerized by that image of enlarged Fritos Brand Corn Chips and their texture. I scanned in the bag to my computer and enlarged the image a bit more. And saw roads.
I enlarged it a bit more and saw buildings and mountains and malls. I kept enlarging the image more and more and I saw entire towns and cities and people and cars and rivers. Each tasty Frito is a world of it's own.
And on each Frito the people look human and American. And everyone drives new cars and is attractive and rich. And on Planet Frito there is only one snack food and it is made of corn and chips. It's a wonderful world. People are happy.
Today I'm gonna kill about 60 Planet Fritos and all of their inhabitants.