Friday, August 18, 2006

My first encounter with Reggie Jackson

I thought today would be a good time to tell this story.

The New York Yankees are in Boston this weekend for 5 gigantic games (actually the games are the same size)... If Sept. 11th had happened during a Yankees/Red Sox series it might have made page 2 of the papers.

For the next 4 days all you'll hear on the news is Yankees this, Red Sox that. Every person you encounter will ask: "What's the score?" or "Did you see that game last night?" or "Posada...what a douchebag, huh?" or "What the heck is a Matsui anyhow?" and on and on. One way or the other it's gonna be glorious.

But not as glorious as that summer of 1978 (look it up) In 1978 Reggie Jackson played right field for the Yankees and was almost as big as the game (figuratively not literally...or do I mean the former or the latter??) Reggie was the most egocentric, self-centered Me. Me. Me player ever. He always referred to himself in the third person...or was it the first person? (maybe it was the former....could be the latter)....folks hated him. But he was good. Real good. Hall of Fame good.

....so anyhow I get tickets for a game at Fenway like everybody who has ever lived in New England gets at one time or another (unless of course your brain is the size of a tea bag)....Section 1 row 2, which sounds like a nice section doesn't it? Well, Section 1 is the worst place to see a game in all of sports. It sucks. You can barely see anything....except the right fielder. And on this particular day, yup...you guessed it...Reggie Jackson was playing right field. For the Yankees. The MFY.

When it's time for the Yankees to take the field in the 1st inning I become Joe Obnoxio and just start hootin' an a hollerin' at Reggie. Every possible thing I can think of I scream at that bastard. Every inning. Every pitch. "REGGIE YOU UGLY BASTARD!!" and "REGGIE YOU SUCK" (clever, huh?) and of course HEY REGGIE... I ENJOYED YOUR MOTHER LAST NIGHT" and the always classic "REGGIE THROWS LIKE A GIRL" and even the absurd "REGGIE IS TICKLISH" and on and on it went. Until finally after about 8 innings Reggie turns around, scans the stands, hears me, sees me, looks me direct in the eye while a HUGE grin appears on his face and then gives me the finger.

I've always loved Reggie Jackson since then. The only Yankee I've ever liked.

(The reason I've always hated the Yankees is because they throw like girls, they suck, they're ugly bastards, I've been with all of their mothers, and they are ticklish.)

19 comments:

bostongraf said...

I really hope that's a true story...but I think it might be made up because there is no Hoag involved.

Cake said...

But were their mothers any good??

(And yer ON NOTICE for your Joe Obnoxio use of the terms former/latter, by the way.)

Clinky said...

What about the time you caught Reggie shoplifting?

I Ain't No Oprah said...

Boston Graf-

True story even though Hoag wasn't there...he hates baseball (he's a tad girlish)

Mr.Cake-
the Mothers are always good.

Clinky-
I'll tell the story of the other Reggie some other time.

stuckwithacomb said...

He never uses the word "tad"

Lois Lane said...

I'm confused. Are the Yankees ticklish, or are their mothers ticklish?

Clinky said...

What kind of pansy answers his blog comments? You should have turned around and given us the finger.

Cake said...

That's it, yer DEAD TO ME now, NoOprah.

Cake said...

You know, it kinda disturbs me that he knows Yankees are ticklish.

Sort of implies he got close enough to one to tickle him.

Hmm....

Bemisdown said...

Can we pretend I was at that game with you too? Then my family might speak to me again?

Cake said...

Yeah, Bemisdown, you were there. Remember how you had a couple of those watered-down beers and a hotdog?

And then you nearly caught that foul ball? For weeks afterward, that's all you could talk about!

Bemisdown said...

Thanks Cake!!!!

I KNEW I was there!

Bemisdown said...

nooprah,

You said this was your "First" encounter with Reggie Jackson...does this have some kind of a BrokeBack Mountain ending?

Cake said...

Truth is, they've been shacked up together for 15 or so years.

They're like a gay version of The Odd Couple...Reggie makes fun of Big Papi and NoOprah puts holes in Reggie's Yankees uniforms. It's romantic, really.

Bemisdown said...

Ummmmm. Yeah. That was me. Yup. I was right there. In the back seat. I remember it like it was yesterday.

Was it yesterday?

Bemisdown said...

Reggie Jackson's career might still be on track if he didn't get himself all involved in those child molestation charges at his Neverland home...oooops.
Wrong Jackson.

The short bus just pulled up in front of my house...gotta go do "special" things.

I Ain't No Oprah said...

Hey Anunomess,

Welcome!

T usually just reads the blog...she's afraid of posting. Something about tigers finding out.

For some reason blogger posts the times using Pacific Standard Time (retards)

And if you really get bored go over to the right and click on some of the links to other blogs....and if afterwards you're still awake click on some of the archives....thats where all the sexy stuff is.

I Ain't No Oprah said...

When you mentioned Burlington I assumed that meant you went back to find Christine...errrr... ummm...I mean your car.

Did Bemisdown really go to Fenway Park with you?

Bemisdown said...

Anunomess-

Oh...I remember ol' CC-or some of it anyway.
It WAS summer.
We WERE young and reckless.
No adults were present.

Is there anything else I should remember?