Thursday, June 12, 2008

The Car Wash

So as I mentioned the other day I was out shopping for cars.

I bought one for Wifey and it was going to be delivered to my house on Tuesday.

And while I'm driving home I feel a tinge of jealousy sweeping over me and MY car. Wifey gets a new car...well darn it, so should I.

But I'm practical.

So I opt for a car wash instead.

My thinking is that when I get home her car is gonna be all gleaming and shiny and mine is gonne be Joey Filth.

And the two cars share a garage.

I can't be bringing my dirty car into the garage to meet the shiny new car. The sewer worker doesn't dance with the debutante.

Or something.

So I go and get my car washed. I now feel better about meeting the new lady of the house.

So I get home, drive into the driveway where Wifey is standing with her new shiny car. But mine is shiny also. I feel good.

I get out of the car and instantly notice that my antenna is broken and laying limp like Joe Placebo at the Cialis trials.

(seems I forgot to turn my radio off during said car wash and the antenna stayed up just long enough to get broken)

I have a clean, yet impotent car sitting next to a hottie and no chance of scoring.

Fixing the antenna is going to cost $100. Add the $3.00 car wash fee and the grand total of cleaning my car was $103.00.

If you enjoyed this story please read my June 22, 2006 post.


Sparkle Plenty said...

You betcha I enjoyed this story, but urrrrgh! D'you know how long it took me to find the June 22, 2006 post? I had to crawl on my belly through tunnels of dank-smelling blog archives (you need to tidy up), hitting my head on low-hanging sarcasm, until I finally found your June 22, 2006 post. Actually, no. I ended up at the June 26, 2006 story first (which is a CLASSIC, but...).

To sum up: I left my comment on today's post on your June 22, 2006 post. You will find it there.

cake said...

"(seems I forgot to turn my radio off during said car wash and the antenna stayed up just long enough to get broken)"

So to sum up:

Yer clean but not so bright.

cake said...

Sparkle owes me a Coke for commenting at the exact same time.

(I don't care if we didn't say the same thing, she was probably THINKING what I typed, which is close enough.)

aunt annie said...

Don't worry about being such a blockhead, we all love you anyways.

Redbeard76 said...

At least you got a nice shiny comb out of the deal.


Oh sorry, wrong story.

Jayne said...

I hate crocs too.

Redbeard76 said...

And where is this fantasy land place where a car wash costs only $3? Heh, maybe in 1978.

P. Pan said...

"And where is this fantasy land place where a car wash costs only $3?"

Follow the first star to the left and straight on till morning!

I Ain't No Oprah said...

3 clams a car wash with a minimum purchase of 8 gallons of gas.

And they use cloth.

Metal antenna bending cloth.

missing the point on purpose said...

Wow, the American dollar has been so devalued now you're using the bartering system?

What will you give me for three minnows and a trout?

kirk said...

P. Pan's retarded...everyone knows it's really "Second star to the right, and straight on 'til morning!"

Tex said...

when you're through would you come over and wash my car cos I really am tired and it needs to be shiny too.

bacon ace said...

Come on Tex, you just want to see IANO in his Daisy Dukes getting all soapy now don't you?

David'Z RantZ said...

"The sewer worker doesn't dance with the debutante."

wow. That was so eloquent it was almost poetic.

What kind of outfit were you wearing when you thought of iy?

(First Runner-Up: The Joe Placebo line.)