Tuesday, June 24, 2008

How To Pick A Fight

Feeling cranky? Just feel like making some trouble?

Here are some surefire ways:

1) Insist to whoever will listen that E.T. followed a trail of M&Ms. Never admit you're wrong.

2) Insist that Lee Meriwether played the role of Catwoman in the 1966 Batman TV show.

3) Tell someone that if George Bush could only get one more term he'd turn things around.

4) Tell a comic fan that Stan Lee actually did all the drawings but let Jack Kirby sign his name to them. (this one is actually true)

5) Tell a Red Sox fan that the Yankees do not in fact suck. They're just misunderstood. And frail. Possibly gay.....Hmmmmm....maybe that wouldn't start a fight.

6) Tell someone that there is actually something for #6 but it involves their ever expanding waistline and it wouldn't be polite to discuss it.

7) Don't go to Cousin Saul's Saturday event because there is something good on TV....ummmmm....I mean because I have surgery scheduled.

8) Or something.

9) Talk to any of my Mother's sisters. They'll say something. I'm sure of it.

10) Ride a Segway.


Sparkle Plenty said...

16) Break the rules of blog games.
538) Mess up list numbers.
B) When someone asks you "How'd you like what I made for dinner?" say "It was interesting."

Lois Lane said...

714B) When someone changes their look, say "Is your hair supposed to be that color?"

David'Z RantZ said...

17. Kick the person in front of you in line; blame the person behind you.

23. Walk into a biker bar, look around and say, "What a bunch of fat-ass faggots!"

47. When a woman asks "Does this outfit make me look fat?" answer her truthfully.

Redbeard76 said...

Ñ) Ask an overweight woman when the baby's due.

°) Insist that Dick Sargent was better than Dick York.

ü) Silently flatulate in a crowded elevator.

Joe Doherty said...

"ü) Silently flatulate in a crowded elevator."

Done and done!

Tex said...

tell a native born Texan that Bush and Wahjah are from Texas.

you'll get YOR ASS KICKED

cousin saul said...

Read cousin saul's blog instead of reading no'oprah's.....

Lois Lane said...

999.) Tell technology addicted friend that not only does his Bluetooth headset make him look like a goof, but its going to turn him into a Cyberman.

cake said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
cake said...

Q) Comment on the wrong blog on the wrong day.

"NoOprah doesn't know how to sum up."