Wednesday, June 18, 2008

Why Hitler is better than the L.A. Lakers

a) Hitler liked dogs, didn't play like one.

b) Luftwaffe

c) He saw France's underpants.

d) Hitler didn't eat beef.... L.A. only had Kobe.

e) Hitler had one more testicle than the Lakers.

f) It took the combined might of Russia, the USA, and Britain to take down Hitler. It only took a few guys named Paul, Kevin, and Ray to take down the Lakers.

g) Hitler had the mustache and the crazy mannerisms of a mental case. Lakers only had Kobe.

h) Hitler could play defense. Lakers couldn't.

i) Hitler never surrendered. Lakers did.

j) Hitler once ate 50 eggs....oh wait....that was Luke.

And a bunch of other things.


Redbeard76 said...

k) Jack Nicholson could never play Hitler in a role. (How odd would that be?)

cake said...

I was out last night and there was a guest book at the restaurant and someone had signed as "Kobe Bryant."

I'm guessing that's why the Lakers lost...they didn't even have him playin'.

(Canada was glad to be of assistance!)

Sparkle Plenty said...

When they told Hitler, "There is no 'I' in 'mannschaft*'," Hitler threw the world's biggest hissy fit and made everyone spell the word "mannsichaft."

When they told the Lakers, "There is no 'I' in 'team,'" the Lakers said, "Did the Celtics win 'cause they have an 'i' in their team?"

*Mannschaft! Word of the Day!

Redbeard76 said...


::thinking dirty thoughts::

Sparkle Plenty said...

Cakie: Ya sure the person didn't sign as "Kobe Beef"?

Sparkle Plenty said...

Redbeard: Yep. German's like that. Whipped cream=Schlagsanne.
I rest my case.

The Celtics out-mannschafted the Lakers.

cake said...

Sorry, Sparkle...I'm now distracted by the word "Mannschaft."

::goes off to scrub brain::

Redbeard76 said...

No need to remind me, Sparkle. I had 2 years of German in college. For example, in german you can't say "Ich bin heis" for I am hot. No no no. That implies something sexual; instead you must say "Es geht mihr heis", literally "it goes me hot".

I am a jelly donut.

maddog said...

Hitler could have put Goeering, Goebbels, Himmler, Hess, and Speer on the court and beat LA last night.

herr Doctor said...

Goebbles as the crafty point guard?

Sparkle Plenty said...

Maddog is correct. Yet, Goering would have slowed the Celtics down considerably--in addition to his regrettable lack of fundamentals, he used to get distracted if someone in the crowd was eating a candy bar. Hess, on the other hand, would have been solid. Excellent ball handling skills.

the cooz said...

Hess could fly down the court...

(notice clever nod to Hess' flight to England)

Clinky said...

David'Z RantZ said...

Speaking of "There is no 'I' in 'team'... "

I was caught making snide remarks during a company meeting. The person running it asked what I could add to what she had just said, assuming I hadn't heard what she was talking about.

She was wrong. I summed up -- IANO would have been proud! -- her last five minutes, added some gibberish of my own, and finished with, "And remember, people... There is no 'Q' in 'team!' "

Everybody looked at me strangely. I looked around the room and asked, "Are any of you suggesting that there is a 'Q' in 'team?' " They all shook their heads. "Well, then! I guess my original point was valid!" I said, sitting down.

Hey, I couldn't use this bit anywhere else lately...