So last night I'm in a restaurant and I order a lobster.
When the waitress brings me said lobster I asked her what his name was.
She kinda looked at me with those blank eyes that wait staff sometimes have.
"He didn't have a name."
Something is wrong with that.
They bring a live animal into their restaurant, put him in the lobster tank to peacefully live out their lives (or so Mr. Lobster thinks), and then they boil him alive to please me.
The least they could do is name the poor guy (before they boil him alive to please me)
Now I know what you're thinking: Why don't you just name him yourself when they bring him out on the platter?
BECAUSE I DON'T NAME THE DEAD...THAT'S WHY!!
Though I suppose I'll now start naming all the dead animals I eat. I'm guessing tonight I will be dining with Beef Richards and his pal, Gravy.