So last night I'm in a restaurant and I order a lobster.
When the waitress brings me said lobster I asked her what his name was.
She kinda looked at me with those blank eyes that wait staff sometimes have.
"He didn't have a name."
Something is wrong with that.
They bring a live animal into their restaurant, put him in the lobster tank to peacefully live out their lives (or so Mr. Lobster thinks), and then they boil him alive to please me.
The least they could do is name the poor guy (before they boil him alive to please me)
Now I know what you're thinking: Why don't you just name him yourself when they bring him out on the platter?
BECAUSE I DON'T NAME THE DEAD...THAT'S WHY!!
Though I suppose I'll now start naming all the dead animals I eat. I'm guessing tonight I will be dining with Beef Richards and his pal, Gravy.
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::pinches IANO::
Said lobster's favorite Beatles songs:
HELP!
HELP!
HELP!
(Cake needs to get better fast.)
If IANO's lobster sang Beatles tunes:
- And Your Shell Can Singe
- Back in the W.A.T.E.R
- Pass Me By (Please oh Please)
- Happiness Isn't a Warm Pot
- Boil Boil Me Don't
(Hmmm...maybe I'm not quite better yet, after all.)
Octopus's Lobster
Let It Boil
Can't Boil Me Love
Lobster Rita (Meaty Maid)
Old Red Shell
I Am The Lobster
I Want To Hold Your Claws
The Large and Boiling Pot
SHE RISES! It is the curative power of the Beatles song game. Ah. Remember the days of the Beatles song blog? Gone, yet not forgotten.
"The Large and Boiling Pot" is now stuck in my head.
Roll Over, Baked Lobster
Don't Butter Me
There's a Plate
I Don't Want to Boil the Body
I've Just Steamed a Face
Baby Yer a Buttery Man?
No? Okay, I'll keep trying...
Sgt. Butter's Lonely Claws Club Band?
Lobster Madonna
All You Need Is Butter
Eight Claws A Week
Getting Butter
Crustacean Wood (This Bib is Worn)
Oh great...now Fonzie is jumping the LOBSTER!
Actually...the blog was kinda funny
Dear Cousin Saul:
It must be raining a lot where you are...I see regular updates on your story-blog.
::faints from the shock::
p.s.
- Buttery Tuesday
- Have You See Your Mother, Baby (Boiling in the Shadows)
- Get Off of My Claw
- Lobster on the Run
- You Got The Butter
Cake,
Actually, I'm in less-than-sunny New Hampshire for the summer. We have a home in Laconia, New Hampshire...I'd prefer to stay in Florida, even in the hot summer (got a delightful pool you know) but I'm out-voted by my wife. (for some reason she gets two votes to my one!) So...I'm posting a bit more to my blog because I have less distractions in New Hampshire. Thanks for noticing though!...Paul
Why Doesn't Cousin Saul Do It In Rhode Island.
Cousin Saul Makes Me Gently Weep
Hey Saul
Happiness Is Warm Florida
Ah, the Beatley Goodness.
personally, i dont think i could eat something i had named. it'd be like eating my pet. and that is just sad. i like flowers and honey better :)
So, was I tasty?
I know I was!
Me too! I'm drooling just thinking of how good I taste.
HEY!
He said he was going to name his *meat*, tardo.
I think she should come with me. I'll introduce her to a friend of mein, ja...Gassy Chambrie.
He said he was going to name his *meat*
Kinky!
Ya know, if the lobster had been prepared differently its name would definitely have been Newburg.
Also: I believe that the lobster's relatives have sworn vengeance on you. Did you see some chasing after your car down the street today? They're pretty easy to outdrive.
NO LOBSTER FOR YOU, SPARKLE!
Too late, Lobster Nazi. I had a lobster named George Marbury-Butterdip, III for dinner last night. Sorry.
You killed my father, prepare to die!
Oh, man. The indigestion isn't enough?
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