Saturday, October 18, 2008

Sallie (Sally, Sallee)

So one night, a little while ago, I'm standing in the kitchen with Wifey just going over our days and making small talk when all of a sudden she says:

"Would you like Sally?"

Would I like Sally? Wow!

For those of you that don't know, Sally is a hot chick in the neighborhood...good friend of Wifey, blonde, thin, sexy, and all around fun. She speaks with a British accent.

Would I like Sally?

I was surprised Wifey was asking this. My birthday was coming was our anniversary.

Was this some kinda pre-arranged present?

Was this a swinger thing? Was Wifey planning on doing something with The Sally Hubby?

Was this going to be a one night stand? Would my friendship with Sally and Hubby (and Wifey) remain intact after I slept with her?

What were Sally's thoughts on this?

Was she the one that brought it up?

I did a pros and cons list:

PROS: I would have 2-15 minutes of great sex.

CONS: It could destroy my marriage. Cost me half my net worth. Turn my kids against me.

It sounded like a good idea.

I was gonna be a swinger!


WIFEY: "Hello....hello....hello...."

ME: "Huh?"

WIFEY: "I asked you a question."

ME: "What?"

WIFEY: "Would you like salad?"


Why the hell would I want to sleep with salad??


puns are more fun than laundry said...

Lettuce see here...clearly you have the giant onions to think you can pepper your blog with saladacious stories like this and not expect to get a-salted with yet more puns.

I'm just tossing this out there. I don't wanna be a crouton...I mean, cretin...but I really think you have it coming to you.

(I was dying to fit 'cucumber' in but I just can't figure out how.)

a pervert said...

"fit cucumber in"

Was this deliberate!? *leer*

I Ain't No Oprah said...

>>>>(I was dying to fit 'cucumber' in but I just can't figure out how.)<<<<<

I hope a gal wrote this and not a guy.

cucumbers > laundry too said...


Anonymous said...

Wifey gonna toss yer salad.

probably not cake said...

Your readers demand a Red Sox Beatles game to usher in tonight's big game! Demand!

not cake either said...


anybody but cake said...

What sh-- uh...they said!

bacon ace said...

What kind of dressing would you pour on Sallie?

cake said...

Bacon Ace:

My vote would be for Raspberry goes with almost everything.

(Even bacon!)

Tex said...

I'd say you toss Sally some bacon and lettuce so she'd be dressing for dinner.

need Beatles version of last night STAT.