Monday, March 24, 2008

The Flirtini

Wifey and I were out at a restaurant Saturday night and decided to eat in the bar area.

Female bartender.

And something called a Flirtini on the drink menu. A Flirtini.

I have no desire to drink said concoction. But I do have an overwhelming desire to order one.

And I want to order the Flirtini in a very flirtacious way. With the female barkeep.

So I practice on Wifey a few of my 'flirty' ordering ways.

First One: No reaction

Second One: No reaction

Third one: "Knock it're an idiot."

Fourth one: ::tiny, tiny upward curve of Wifey's mouth showing how amused she is::

FEMALE BARKEEP: "Can I get you two some drinks?"

ME: "Yup...we'd like such and such bottle of wine."

The Point Of Story?:
It ain't about the's about Wifey every once in a great while showing her mouth curl up into a slight smile when I act like an asshole in a public place.

The bartender was kinda plain so I decided not to waste my flirtin' chops on her.


Cousin Saul said...

My daughter came for a visit this weekend and it became a movie-marathon of sorts. We watched “Enchanted,” “Superman Returns,” “No Reservations,” “Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade,” “Across The Universe,” and “August Rush.” Here is another movie review by Cousin Saul:

“Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade” was certainly the weakest of the original trilogy but we hadn’t seen it for many years so we needed to be “refreshed” before the new Indiana Jones movie comes out soon!

“No Reservations” was so predictable that in the first 15 minutes you knew what was going to happen by the end. Uptight Catherine Zeta-Jones has no experience with kids and she has made no time for anything in her life but her career as an amazing chef at a small upscale New York restaurant. When her niece is suddenly put into her life, Catherine’s controlled life is up-ended. Then a new assistant chef is introduced to help out. Oh, he’s unshaven! That must be lazy-writer speak for a loveable rogue. Gee…do you think they’ll end up together?

“August Rush” was a ridiculous, cliché filled mess of a movie that tried really hard to have some sort of emotional impact…but it just wasn’t there. A couple of good actors in it…but Robin Williams wasn’t one of them! Another over-the-top performance by Mork.

“Superman Returns.” The first 5 hours were a bit slow.

“Enchanted” was a near perfect movie, filled with clever, satirical musical numbers. A fun performance by Amy Adams and James Marsden. Patrick Dempsey’s lack of acting talent couldn’t even ruin this movie. (he actually smiled a couple of times in this movie so apparently whatever he’s taking for his constant constipation is working.)

“Across The Universe” was a visually interesting movie filled with an assortment of great Beatles songs sung by some relatively talented young actors. Unfortunately, the filmmakers decided to set this movie during the late 1960s and it revealed how hypocritical the 1960s “Summer of Love” really was…the 60s had very little to do with love and peace. It was mostly a time of sex, drugs, extreme selfishness, and businesses taking advantage of the weak-minded youth and hippie movement . Even when the real Beatles sang about “All You Need Is Love” they really meant, “All you need is love” and a good lawyer to sue my fellow band-mates. John Lennon (a musical genius in my opinion) constantly preached peace and love but he was a bitter, angry, cheating-on-his-wives, human being. The fraud of the 1960s is a major (unintentional) theme throughout this movie. True love and peace don’t come naturally in humans…it’s far more spiritual than most of us can comprehend.

So, there’s Cousin Saul’s Easter weekend movie reviews!

I Ain't No Oprah said...

Get your own blog, Loser!

I watched Thank You For Smoking and it was great.

I also watched Hotel Rwanda with Don Cheadle. I fell asleep.

Why Don Cheadle was at my house on Easter is best left untold.

Cousin Saul said...

Cousin Steve,
I can't afford my own blog. It's much cheaper to use yours. Yeah...I saw "Thank You For Smoking" about a year was very good.
Don Cheadle is a very talented actor (I spotted his talent back when he was on "Picket Fences") but I'm just not that interested in many of his movies. (Although I heard Hotel Rowanda was good)

Sparkle Plenty said...

I would like a new spin-off blog, please: "Cousin Saul and Cousin Steve Go to the Movies."

I Ain't No Oprah said...

He's the fat one.

Cousin Saul said...

Cousin Steve likes almost every movie...I think it's an addiction to the flickering images...I expect professional quality stories and acting...I enjoy fluffy movies too...Sylvestor Stallone and Arnold come to mind...but I don't go into them expecting anything deep. I hate's usually just lazy writing. But, I understand, that modern movies are really not made for ME. They're made for 15-19 year olds who don't care about well-written stories with fully developed characters.

I Ain't No Oprah said...

...but I wish he was the one with The Cancer.

cake said...

So to sum up:

It's raining out today so Cousin Saul is stuck inside.

I Ain't No Oprah said...

But at least it's warm rain.

cake said...

So to sum up:

NoOprah and his cousin are secretly jealous of all my nice fluffy white snow. Yeah, that's it.

(Shhhh, lemme have my delusion.)

David'Z RantZ said...

Didn't see "Across the Universe," but...

What if The Beatles sang about The Beatles?

Across the Universe

Hey Jude

Let It Be

She Loves You

Can't Buy Me Love

Eleanor Rigby

(Hmm. Something's wrong here!)

David'Z RantZ said...

Oh, and the last movie I watched was the 1997 remake of "Twelve Angry Men" with Jack Lemmon and George C. Scott. I try to keep up with the new stuff.

IANO: So, what's all this about a "Flirtini?" It doesn't seem like anybody read that one, just went right to the comments section.

I Ain't No Oprah said...

Dear David Rantz,

As a 'newbie' here you clearly missed the game.

Read every third letter of my post and you'll see it was a movie review. Very spy-like.

Cousin Saul noticed right away and pounced!

David'Z RantZ said...

"Spy-like," eh? Hmm. Pedrhaps Cousin Saul isn't really your "cousin" at all. Perhaps [pauses for dramatic effect] he's really your [pauses again for dramatic effect] U.N.C.L.E.?!?!? [insert dramatic music here]

Redbeard76 said...

What? David actually read one of IANO's posts?

::laughs maniacally::

David'Z RantZ said...

I'm sorry, Redbeard, I thought we were supposed to read these things.

[in his best whiny Vinnie Barbarino voice] Now you made me feel bad!

henri guillaumes from de nort' countree said...

Your flirtin' chops
Will fade some day
And Wifey's smile
Will go away
The time will come
When you're old and drool
And yer flirtin' chops
Make you look the fool.

David'Z RantZ said...

Speaking of The Beatles (as some of us were): R.I.P. Neil Aspinall 1941-2008