(I saw those eyes roll!)
I'm gonna tell you why Jews don't eat pork. It should be riveting.
Years and years ago there was This Jew who was a friend of The Jesus and right before The Jesus was about to be killed This Jew ran out from the crowd screaming:
"No Kill Jesus! No Kill Jesus!" (That's how they talked back then)
But they did anyhow (but that's another story for later this week)
So over the years the story got passed down about the Brave Jew who tried to stop the murder of Jesus.
But the guy passing down the story was partially dyslexic and it got translated as: "No Llik Susej, No Llik Susej."
Which sounded like: "No lick sausage, no lick sausage!"
And the Jews obeyed the message.
And that my friends is why Jews don't eat pork (which is stupid because pork is bacon, sauasage, ham, and baby back ribs...and why wouldn't you want to eat those? !)