Tuesday, March 25, 2008

It's Opening Day

And the Red Sox just won. In Japan.


Here are some things that normally bother me but won't today because it's Opening Day.

1. Cousin Saul's movie reviews.

2. Capri Pants...go ahead Broads, wear 'em, I don't care today!

3. People that don't get to the point. Ramble all you want. I'll pretend I'm listening.

4. Yankee fans. Go ahead...root for your second place team all you want. It's adorable.

5. Julia Roberts

6. Hillary Clinton

7. Al Gore and his phony-baloney global warming money making scheme.

8. John Kerry/Celene Dion...no need for a long face today....it's Opening Day!

9. Peas. (I HATE CHEW!) but today...we're friends.

10. car salesmen/cell phone providers/telemarketers/contractors/auto mechanics (though I will hate them twice as much tomorrow.

It's Opening Day. Life is good.


cousin saul said...

HEY!HEY! HEY! My movie reviews are done as a service for your readers so they won't waste their time and money!!!! Why I oughta.....!!!

I Ain't No Oprah said...

You oughta wear some Capri Pants is what you oughta do...

Redbeard76 said...

::bows to IANO::

::bows to room::

::puts on capri pants::

::takes off capri pants after seeing how ridiculous I look::

::gives Hillary my capri pants so she can show off her cankles::

David'Z RantZ said...

How about if we let Al Gore wear some Capri pants so he can show off his globally-warm cankles?

Tex said...

It's Opening Day and DirecTV sucks donkey balls

I Ain't No Oprah said...

I got the whole game on NESN...we had no problems with my cable company.

I heard ComCast and Direct TV didn't work.

Lois Lane said...

Forget about the Red Sox--did anyone else see those finely turned ankles on Redbeard? Woo-hoo!

Redbeard76 said...

my comcast worked. bummer for you directv folks. better luck tomorrow, eh?

cake said...

Listen to Redbeard sounding all Canadian, eh?

::bows to the Red Sox and then applauds wildly::

julia robert said...

Hey, it's so nice to be able to drop by here for a change!

So I was out with Hillary shopping for some capri pants today and we ran into Saul on his way to a Yankees game-- he was telling us this long-winded story about a movie he didn't like and then we got really overheated cuz of that global warming and all? Really warm.

Fortunately, we stepped outside and John Kerry and Celine Dion were selling pea-flavored popsicles, which totally hit the spot and gave us the energy to go and pick out some new cell phones and cars.

It's been a GREAT DAY!

Anonymous said...

I don't know which one of you fookers took my idea (I'm looking at you, "Julia Roberts") but I HATE CHEW!

Hiding behind a pseudonym is for pussies.

-- Lamont "No, I'm Not Showing You My Birth Certificate" Cranston

David'Z RantZ said...

Lamont: You are so right about that whole "hiding behind a pseudonym" thing!

By the way, I'm admittedly going out on a limb here, but assuming you're a fan of The Shadow -- I took a guess -- have you checked out http://www.dialbforburbank.com?

Al Gore said...

Did you know that I created The Shadow?

julia roberts said...

Neener to you, Lamont!