Friday, March 14, 2008

Important Folks

Years ago before cell phones, me and The Hoag went to Las Vegas for a trade show, and every day at meal time the Hoag would ask the manager of the restaurant in the hotel for a phone to be placed on our table.

And like everything in Vegas, they take care of your requests.

So for six days and eighteen meals we had a phone on our table. Almost BatPhone-ish.

But nobody we knew had that phone number or even wanted to call us.

But we had a phone on our table! And we were important.


dr. meatless mcfadden said...

"But we had a phone on our table! And we were important."

Compensating for those three ounces, huh.

I Ain't No Oprah said...


Joe Doherty said...

You should have had the manager bring you & Hoag two high-priced hookers every day at meal time.

Then you could have been Governor.

cake said...

I was going to comment but I don't really have time...see, I'm expecting an important call on my cell phone any minute now because I'm ever-so-important.

Really, I wouldn't lie to you.

Sparkle Plenty said...

I love the whole phone-on-table thing. It's so Sinatra.

I miss phones-on-tables. Actually, I miss phone booths. Where are super heroes supposed to change their clothes? Fast food restaurant bathrooms are just not the same. And, what if you have a superhero emergency and the bathroom is occupied? You're jumping up and down outside yelling, "Superhero emergency! Superhero emergency here!" with your cape tucked under your arm.

And you get tasered. By a pimply-faced assistant manager. Named Josh.

bacon ace said...

So now when you go and you're using your cellphone do you ask the manager to bring the table to you?

Anonymous said...

Sounds like you were a pair of "Billy No Mates.

motheragawd said...

Hello? If you still had a phone at your table, I'd call and ask why IAINTNO hasn't blogged about the fact that prominent Democrats seem to get a lot more illicit sex than boring old Republicans, except, of course, Larry Craig, who seems enjoy waving those hefty four ounces around in men's bathrooms only. (Of course, that might have something to do with his chubby little wife Jenny making him eat all those frozen diet dinners. But that's another Republican thing. Dems love to eat real food.)

So you might want to consider changing parties. That's what I'd say...if you had a phone at your table.

I Ain't No Oprah said...

Dear MotherofGawd,

Democrats get more illicit sex cuz Republicans are too busy counting their money.

Nice job by the douchebag Democrats yesterday getting rid of the nice tax cuts we had.


Hopefully with the added tax revenue the Democrats will get that welfare program back and running to it's former glory. Maybe get some more programs up and running for illegal aliens. Maybe more money for global warming.

cake said...

Can we donate money to global warming? Cuz I'll do it, just tell me where to send the cheque!

Well, where to tell my people to send the cheque. Cuz, see, I'm important enough that I have people. Do you have people? I thought not.

Anonymous said...


Come clean, now: Do you even have cheques?

-- Lamont "Exchequer" Cranston

Anonymous said...

Hey, it's March 14, and I'm posting this at 1:59 pm (and 26 seconds).

You know what that means, right?

This post takes place at 3/14 1:59:26.

*Sulks* Well, Stuck With A Comb would appreciate it.

-- Lamont "Numerology Jokes Are Wasted On The -- Oh, God, It's True: I Have No Life" Cranston

I Ain't No Oprah said...

Pie for everyone!

cake said...

An ex-boyfriend of mine knew pi to the 40th point or something.

Fortunately he had other redeeming features.

::thinks about making an ounces joke...decides to pass::

bacon ace said...

For lamont and Cake's ex:

cake said...

I'm just hungry for pie now. Damn you all, where's my nice slice of warm apple pie and cheddar cheese!

Tex said...

dada da da da dah HOAG MAN!!!!