Monday, August 24, 2009

Even MORE from Crazy Jason

June 18

CRAZY JASON: "You know that comic I just bought?"
ME: "Which one?"
CRAZY JASON: "Wolverine: Ain't No Dog."
ME: Yeah...what about it?"
CRAZY JASON: "Well, technically that's true. Wolverine ain't no dog, he is a cat."

June 21

-Looking at The Monkees 45rpm record in my showcase:
CRAZY JASON: "That's against the law!"
ME: "Why?"
CRAZY JASON: "Unless a real monkey is singing on it then it's copyright infrinngement!"
ME: "Thank you."

June 24

::Showing me the cover of the old Greatest Joker Stories Ever Told that has the Joker holding a smiling fish.::

CRAZY JASON: "When you go to the supermarket you have to pay for fish, right?"
ME: "Correct."
CRAZY JASON: "Then DC had to pay this fish to model for this cover, right?"
ME: "Correct."

June 30

CRAZY JASON: "I'm your best customer, but it's not your fault."
ME: "Thank you."

July 1

CRAZY JASON: "The Hulk is spelled different than Lucky."
ME: "Thank you!"

CRAZY JASON: ::holding up a copy of Green Arrow/ Black Canary:::
"DC is using Plastic Man when normally they use Elongated Man....they serve the same function."
ME: "Thank you!"

July 2

CRAZY JASON: "You know the AM in The Amazing Spider-Man sounds like H"
ME: "Huh?"
CRAZY JASON: "So it sounds like The Hazing Spider-Man because the villians are always hazing him."
ME: "Great! Thank you.!"

Later on July 2

CRAZY JASON: "Remember when Spider-man had his Spider-Mobile?"
ME: "Yup."
CRAZY JASON: "Remember when he drove it into the Hudson River?"
ME: "Yes...what about it?"
CRAZY JASON: "Well, it was a prophecy because I flooded my car today."
ME: "Thank you!"

Still later on July 2

He just called again:

CRAZY JASON: "Do you know the Sub-Mariner?"
ME: "Yup."
CRAZY JASON: "Did you know he hates swimming pools?"
ME: "I didn't know that. Why does he hate pools?
CRAZY JASON: "The chlorine hurts his gills."
ME: "Thank you."

July 3

CRAZY JASON: "You know at the end of a Warner Brothers cartoon when they say 'That's All Folks'?
ME: "Yes..."
CRAZY JASON: "They're really saying 'That's Asshole, Folks!' ..."
ME: "Thank you."

July 4

CRAZY JASON: "Remember last week when I told you I flushed an ant down the toilet?"
ME: 'Yup.
CRAZY JASON: "Well, I just sent him a life-raft.....a doo-doo life-raft."
ME: "Thank you...have a great 4th of July!"

Again on July 4

CRAZY JASON: "Do you know the Micronauts?"
ME: "I've heard of them, yes."
CRAZY JASON: "Do they tie small knots?"
ME: "I'm not sure...thank you!"

Another July 4

CRAZY JASON: "You know those bricks on the Spider-Man Treasury Edition?"
ME: "What about them?"
CRAZY JASON: "Why aren't they white bricks?"
ME: "I don't know."
CRAZY JASON: "If they were white bricks they would have been made by white people."
ME: "Who makes the red bricks?"
CRAZY JASON: "Native Americans.....or Communists."
ME: "Thank you.

July 5

CRAZY JASON: "I was looking through my Marvel Comics and noticed that there is very little tenant/landlord relationships.

ME: "Really?"
CRAZY JASON: "Yes...though most of the Marvel Universe rents.
ME: "Thank you!."

July 6

So Crazy Jason calls today numerous times and I tell him that I have a huge project today and need the phone lines to get it done and no more calls today.

CRAZY JASON: "Then I'll write a letter!"
ME: "Okay. Thanks!"

Two minutes later phone rings:
CRAZY JASON: "I Wrote the letter B"
ME: "Jason...I told you not to call anymore today."
CRAZY JASON: "I wrote the letter B..."
ME: "Jason...."
CRAZY JASON: "I wrote the letter B I wrote the letter B I wrote the letter B I wrote the letter B I wrote the letter B I wrote the letter B I wrote the letter B...."

ME: "Okay...I gotta go. No more calls."

July 7

CRAZY JASON: "You know the Vision."
ME: "Yup."
CRAZY JASON: "Have you noticed the diamond shaped thing in the CENTER of his head?"
ME: "Yup.
CRAZY JASON: "Does Marvel owe money to Pearl Vison CENTERS for using their trademark?"
ME: "Good question. Thanks!"

July 10

CRAZY JASON: "Today is new arrivals day, right?"
ME: "Yup."
CRAZY JASON: "Is this a maternity ward?"

July 10 again

July 11

CRAZY JASON: "You know how the Thing and the Hulk rarely wear shoes?"
ME: "Yup."
CRAZY JASON: "Well...if they get hurt they have to call the Toe-Truck."
ME: "That's funny."
CRAZY JASON: "Not for me it isn't. My car doesn't work. I have to call the Tow-truck"
ME: "Thank you!"

July 13

CRAZY JASON: "You know Superman's car?"
ME: "Yup, what about it?"
CRAZY JASON: "It's an S car, right?"
ME: "Yup...I guess so."
CRAZY JASON: "Does that escargot?"
ME: "Huh?"
CRAZY JASON: "Does. That. S. Car. Go?"
ME: "Funny."
CRAZY JASON: "I need a new car."
ME: "Thank you!"

July 15

CRAZY JASON: "Superheroes are into free love."
ME: "I did not know that."
CRAZY JASON: "Yup...I was looking at that poster book I bought from you and noticed all the super-heroes run around in their underwear."

ME: "So where does the Free Love come from?"
CRAZY JASON: "Age of Aquarius, Man,.... Age of Aquarius....Free love."
ME: "Thank you."

July 19

CRAZY JASON: "Do you know Santa's pet?"
ME: "Santa has a pet?"
CRAZY JASON: "Yes...Rudolph."
ME: "Oh...I didn't know that was his pet."
CRAZY JASON: "Well it is."
ME: "Oh."
CRAZY JASON: "Is Santa's pet related to Rudy Guilianni?"
ME: "I don't know. Thank you!"

July 22

CRAZY JASON: "Do you know Swamp Thing?"
ME: "Yes."
CRAZY JASON: "You agree that most of his readers are probably urban, yes?"
ME: "Okay...?"
CRAZY JASON: "And most of Man-Thing's readers are probably rural..."
ME: "Okay...?"
CRAZY JASON: "And I'm not just saying that becuase Swamp Thing is an AIDS reference."
ME: "Thank you!"

July 27

CRAZY JASON: "Do you have A phone or THE phone?"
ME: "A phone."
CRAZY JASON: "Okay, thank you."
ME: "Okay, thank YOU!"

August 3

CRAZY JASON: "Do you know M C Escher?
ME: "I know of him, why?"
CRAZY JASON: "Do you know that picture he did of the puddle with the tire tracks through it?"
ME: "No....but what about it?"
CRAZY JASON: "That EXACT puddle is right in front of my house."
ME: "Cool. Thank you."

August 4

CRAZY JASON: "Do you know Galactus?"
ME: "Yup."
CRAZY JASON: "He's a chick."
ME: "How do you figure?"
CRAZY JASON: "He's based on Nancy Sinatra."
ME: "How do you know that?"
CRAZY JASON: "It's just a fact."

Again on August 4

CRAZY JASON: "Are you a people store?"
ME: "People like to shop here...yes."
CRAZY JASON: "Do you sell people there?"
ME: "Nope."
CRAZY JASON: "If you did I'd buy some people."
ME: "Why?"
CRAZY JASON: "I need me some slaves."
ME: Okay...Thanks!"

August 6

CRAZY JASON: "Do you know Columbia Records?"
ME: "Yes."
CRAZY JASON: "I'm gonna inherit them pretty soon."
ME: "Cool."
CRAZY JASON: "But I'm not gonna put any records out."
ME: "Why not?"
CRAZY JASON: "I'm gonna let Time-Warner do that."
ME: "Cool...thanks!."


Cake said...

I'm starting a fan club.

The Silver Fox said...

How did you know he said "need" the first time and "knead" the second time over the phone? Maybe one of those times, he meant "kneed."

I Ain't No Oprah said...

Because he explained it to me.

(If I published an entire Crazy Jason conversation we'd be here all day.)

The Silver Fox said...


I Ain't No Oprah said...

Is that AH like a doctor is looking down your throat or AH like you understand?

The Silver Fox said...

I understand. And sympathize. No wonder you keep telling Crazy Jason not to call on your busier days.

I Ain't No Oprah said...

He's kinda funny.

Sparkle Plenty said...


The Silver Fox said...

But does he ever talk about Hitler and farts at the same time?

Anonymous said...

студенточка сосет 18 летние девчонки с очень молоденькой [url=][/url]