CRAZY JASON: "You know the movie Marathon Man?"
ME: "Yup."
CRAZY JASON: "And today is the Boston Marathon?"
ME: "Yup."
CRAZY JASON: "Well, I'm the Marathon Man cuz I can go ALL. DAY. LONG."
ME: "Yup."
------------------
------------------
CRAZY JASON: "Who is faster...The Road Runner or Flash and Quicksilver?"
ME: "Let me ask my customers."
CRAZY JASON: "Okay."
ME: "HEY!!! WHO IS FASTER....THE ROAD RUNNER OR THE FLASH?"
MY CUSTOMERS: "THE ROAD RUNNER!"
ME: "The Road Runner."
CRAZY JASON: "Thank you."
------------------
CRAZY JASON: ".....and that's why Superheroes don't eat in the comics."
ME: "Why don't you come down here anymore?"
CRAZY JASON: "Well...last time I was there I had a car accident and the air bags popped out and made a noise like a sonic boom."
ME: "And....?"
CRAZY JASON: "I thought it was just your way of letting me know I wasn't welcome there anymore."
ME: "You're ALWAYS welcome here!"
ME: "During regular store hours, of course."
CRAZY JASON: "Of course."
ME: "Thnak you."
------------------
CRAZY JASON: "I lost a bet once."
ME: "For how much?"
CRAZY JASON: "Under a dollar."
ME: "What was the bet?"
CRAZY JASON: "I bet that Dr. J was at my house, but I lost on a technicality."
ME: "Technicality?"
CRAZY JASON: "Yup...it was actually Julius Erving. That's his real name."
ME: "That sucks, huh?"
------------------
CRAZY JASON: "Do you know intelligent cowboy movies?
ME: "Huh?"
CRAZY JASON: "Like Unforgiven."
ME: "Yes...?"
CRAZY JASON: "Do you think the horses are just metaphors for something?"
ME: "Such as?"
CRAZY JASON: "Maybe beasts of burden...you know, like The Rolling Stones song."
ME: "Oh...you're right. I never thought of that. Thank you."
------------------
{Crazy Jason has been told he can only call on Thursday}
CRAZY JASON: "I know I'm supposed to call on Thursday but I'm calling you Today.
ME: "Okay."
CRAZY JASON: "Hello Today!"
ME: "That's funny!"
CRAZY JASON: "Thank you, Today!"
------------------
CRAZY JASON: "Do you know The Song of Red Sonja?"
ME: "Yes."
CRAZY JASON: "Do you know The Food of Red Sonja?"
ME: "No...what is it?"
CRAZY JASON: "Lasagna."
ME: "Red Sonja likes lasagna?"
CRAZY JASON: "Yes."
------------------
CRAZY JASON: "You know that Green Lantern in your window..."
ME: "Yes."
CRAZY JASON: "Well...he's a DC icon."
ME: "Yup."
CRAZY JASON: "Well I saw a DC girl masturbating in a coffee shop and they're not allowed to do that."
ME: "What coffee shop?"
------------------
CRAZY JASON: "Do you know Jabba the Hutt?"
ME: "Yup."
CRAZY JASON: "Well, I know where his hut is."
ME: "Cool...where?"
CRAZY JASON: "Newton Corner...near the hospital."
------------------
CRAZY JASON: "Remember when you told me you never met an alien?"
ME: "Yup."
CRAZY JASON: "Well I met one once."
ME: "Cool."
CRAZY JASON: "His name is Al. His real name is Alien."
ME: "Thank you."
------------------
CRAZY JASON: "Do you know the band KISS?"
ME: "I know of them, yes."
CRAZY JASON: "Well...they're not a Satanist band...they're Christian."
ME: "How do you figure?"
CRAZY JASON: "Christmas....KISSmas....see.?
ME: "Thank you."
------------------
I thought for sure I had him beat at his own game.
I didn't.
Here is that conversation:
ME: "Did you know Nick Fury was chinese?"
CRAZY JASON: "How do you figure?"
ME: "Isn't he the Asian of S.H.I.E.L.D.?"
CRAZY JASON: "No...but Beast Wars are democrats...there is no R in beast."
------------------
CRAZY JASON: "Do you know the Avengers?"
ME: "Yes."
CRAZY JASON: "If they played 'Simon Says'...Wonderman would be Simon."
ME: "Cool."
------------------
CRAZY JASON: "You know how Ragnarok is the final conflict?"
ME: "Okay..."
CRAZY JASON: "If I licked my dick would that be the final dong flicked?"
ME: :::laughter:: "Thank you."
------------------
CRAZY JASON: "Remember how I said I was shaken but not stirred?"
ME: "Yup."
CRAZY JASON: "I'm actually stirred."
------------------
CRAZY JASON: "I just got my phone bill and it lists all my phone calls."
ME: "Neat."
CRAZY JASON: "The only people I owe money are: A T &T, Verizon, and Whitey Bulger."
ME: "Neat. Thank you."
------------------
CRAZY JASON: "Do you know that game Dungeons and Dragons?"
ME: "Yup."
CRAZY JASON: "If it was my game I'd change it to Heroines and Herpes, because that's what it really is."
ME: "Thank you."
------------------
CRAZY JASON: "Do you have Off Track Betting there?"
ME: "No."
------------------
CRAZY JASON: "I didn't rob you."
ME: "Great...thanks!"
(Nobody robbed me)
------------------
CRAZY JASON: "Do you know why Conan and Rambo have never fought?"
ME: "Because they lived in different times?"
CRAZY: "Nope....it's because they're the same person and you can't fight yourself."
ME: "Thank you."
------------------
CRAZY JASON: "Blah blah blah blah blah"
ME: "Okay great! Well, I'll need the phone the rest of the day so no more calls."
CRAZY JASON: "Okay."
20 minutes later:
CRAZY JASON: "Did you mean you need the phone or that you knead the phone?"
------------------
CRAZY JASON: "Remember the movie Home Alone?"
ME: "Yup."
CRAZY JASON: "Well, shop owners like you shouldn't tell people you work alone or they'll come in and rob you."
ME: "I have ten guys working here today."
CRAZY JASON: "Okay."
Monday, August 24, 2009
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
4 comments:
Okay, which one of us going to start the Crazy Jason Facebook fan page?
Thank you!
Yup.
What the hockeypuck have I been doing WORKING today when THIS was lying here in wait for me? And there was MORE yesterday after the first post?
MAKE A CRAZY JASON BLOG. All crazy jason, all the time.
Post a Comment