Monday, August 24, 2009

Oh my god...even MORE from Crazy Jason!

CRAZY JASON: "You know the movie Marathon Man?"

ME: "Yup."

CRAZY JASON: "And today is the Boston Marathon?"

ME: "Yup."

CRAZY JASON: "Well, I'm the Marathon Man cuz I can go ALL. DAY. LONG."

ME: "Yup."



CRAZY JASON: "Who is faster...The Road Runner or Flash and Quicksilver?"

ME: "Let me ask my customers."




ME: "The Road Runner."

CRAZY JASON: "Thank you."


CRAZY JASON: ".....and that's why Superheroes don't eat in the comics."

ME: "Why don't you come down here anymore?"

CRAZY JASON: "Well...last time I was there I had a car accident and the air bags popped out and made a noise like a sonic boom."

ME: "And....?"

CRAZY JASON: "I thought it was just your way of letting me know I wasn't welcome there anymore."

ME: "You're ALWAYS welcome here!"

ME: "During regular store hours, of course."

CRAZY JASON: "Of course."

ME: "Thnak you."


CRAZY JASON: "I lost a bet once."

ME: "For how much?"

CRAZY JASON: "Under a dollar."

ME: "What was the bet?"

CRAZY JASON: "I bet that Dr. J was at my house, but I lost on a technicality."

ME: "Technicality?"

CRAZY JASON: " was actually Julius Erving. That's his real name."

ME: "That sucks, huh?"


CRAZY JASON: "Do you know intelligent cowboy movies?

ME: "Huh?"

CRAZY JASON: "Like Unforgiven."

ME: "Yes...?"

CRAZY JASON: "Do you think the horses are just metaphors for something?"

ME: "Such as?"

CRAZY JASON: "Maybe beasts of know, like The Rolling Stones song."

ME: "'re right. I never thought of that. Thank you."


{Crazy Jason has been told he can only call on Thursday}

CRAZY JASON: "I know I'm supposed to call on Thursday but I'm calling you Today.

ME: "Okay."

CRAZY JASON: "Hello Today!"

ME: "That's funny!"

CRAZY JASON: "Thank you, Today!"


CRAZY JASON: "Do you know The Song of Red Sonja?"

ME: "Yes."

CRAZY JASON: "Do you know The Food of Red Sonja?"

ME: "No...what is it?"

CRAZY JASON: "Lasagna."

ME: "Red Sonja likes lasagna?"



CRAZY JASON: "You know that Green Lantern in your window..."

ME: "Yes."

CRAZY JASON: "Well...he's a DC icon."

ME: "Yup."

CRAZY JASON: "Well I saw a DC girl masturbating in a coffee shop and they're not allowed to do that."

ME: "What coffee shop?"


CRAZY JASON: "Do you know Jabba the Hutt?"

ME: "Yup."

CRAZY JASON: "Well, I know where his hut is."

ME: "Cool...where?"

CRAZY JASON: "Newton Corner...near the hospital."


CRAZY JASON: "Remember when you told me you never met an alien?"

ME: "Yup."

CRAZY JASON: "Well I met one once."

ME: "Cool."

CRAZY JASON: "His name is Al. His real name is Alien."

ME: "Thank you."


CRAZY JASON: "Do you know the band KISS?"

ME: "I know of them, yes."

CRAZY JASON: "Well...they're not a Satanist band...they're Christian."

ME: "How do you figure?"

CRAZY JASON: "Christmas....KISSmas....see.?

ME: "Thank you."


I thought for sure I had him beat at his own game.

I didn't.

Here is that conversation:

ME: "Did you know Nick Fury was chinese?"

CRAZY JASON: "How do you figure?"

ME: "Isn't he the Asian of S.H.I.E.L.D.?"

CRAZY JASON: "No...but Beast Wars are democrats...there is no R in beast."


CRAZY JASON: "Do you know the Avengers?"

ME: "Yes."

CRAZY JASON: "If they played 'Simon Says'...Wonderman would be Simon."

ME: "Cool."


CRAZY JASON: "You know how Ragnarok is the final conflict?"

ME: "Okay..."

CRAZY JASON: "If I licked my dick would that be the final dong flicked?"

ME: :::laughter:: "Thank you."


CRAZY JASON: "Remember how I said I was shaken but not stirred?"

ME: "Yup."

CRAZY JASON: "I'm actually stirred."


CRAZY JASON: "I just got my phone bill and it lists all my phone calls."

ME: "Neat."

CRAZY JASON: "The only people I owe money are: A T &T, Verizon, and Whitey Bulger."

ME: "Neat. Thank you."


CRAZY JASON: "Do you know that game Dungeons and Dragons?"

ME: "Yup."

CRAZY JASON: "If it was my game I'd change it to Heroines and Herpes, because that's what it really is."

ME: "Thank you."


CRAZY JASON: "Do you have Off Track Betting there?"

ME: "No."


CRAZY JASON: "I didn't rob you."

ME: "Great...thanks!"

(Nobody robbed me)


CRAZY JASON: "Do you know why Conan and Rambo have never fought?"

ME: "Because they lived in different times?"

CRAZY: "'s because they're the same person and you can't fight yourself."

ME: "Thank you."


CRAZY JASON: "Blah blah blah blah blah"

ME: "Okay great! Well, I'll need the phone the rest of the day so no more calls."


20 minutes later:

CRAZY JASON: "Did you mean you need the phone or that you knead the phone?"


CRAZY JASON: "Remember the movie Home Alone?"

ME: "Yup."

CRAZY JASON: "Well, shop owners like you shouldn't tell people you work alone or they'll come in and rob you."

ME: "I have ten guys working here today."



Lois Lane said...

Okay, which one of us going to start the Crazy Jason Facebook fan page?

Redbeard76 said...

Thank you!

Cake said...


Sparkle Plenty said...

What the hockeypuck have I been doing WORKING today when THIS was lying here in wait for me? And there was MORE yesterday after the first post?

MAKE A CRAZY JASON BLOG. All crazy jason, all the time.