Watching a movie with Wifey when main character shows up wearing a navy pea coat. Here is the conversation:
ME: "You'd look good in a pea coat."
WIFEY: "I don't have a pea coat."
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A thoughtful mother in the store looking for a gift for her son:
ME: "Anything I can help you with?"
MOTHER: "Do you still have that box of broken toys?"
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Someone on Facebook...I forget who:
"Live every week like it's Shark Week."
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Kid at the store:
KID: "Do you have anything for $6.00 or less?"
ME: "I have thousands and thousands of things for $6.00 or less...take a look around."
KID: "Can you show me?"
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Crazy guy named Jason:
CRAZY JASON: "Do you know how I have a fat belly?"
ME: "Yes."
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At a restaurant/bar with Hoagy:
HOAGY: "I'll have the mixed grill with potatoes and rice."
BARTENDER: "We'll call you Two-Starch Charlie."
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Guy selling me his dead dad's stuff:
ME: "...or you could sell these on ebay."
GUY: "I'm an electrician...I know nothing about the internet and how it works."
ME: "Do you collect anything yourself?"
GUY: "Poetry."
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TELE-WEASEL: "Hi...I'm calling on behalf of Verizon."
ME: "You work for Verizon?"
TELE-WEASEL: "Yes...on their behalf."
ME: "But you don't ACTUALLY work for them, correct?"
TELE-WEASEL: "I do...on their behalf."
ME: "But you don't get a paycheck from Verizon, correct?"
TELE-WEASEL: "No, but..."
ME: "Thank you...have a great day!"
3 comments:
Snippet replies:
I thought you didn't like peas.
I took your advice and hired a bloody surfer to flop around in my office and scream a lot...it's distracting.
Two-Starch Charlie actually isn't a bad mob name.
Tele-Weasels are people too.
Snippets of snippets that have nothing to do with your snippets:
"Do I look as bad as you do?"
"Who's going to clean up all this glitter?"
"No, you can't use the iPod while you're using the potty."
I'll just take a little snippet off here.
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