Tuesday, August 04, 2009

It's time for SNIPPETS!

Watching a movie with Wifey when main character shows up wearing a navy pea coat. Here is the conversation:

ME: "You'd look good in a pea coat."

WIFEY: "I don't have a pea coat."


A thoughtful mother in the store looking for a gift for her son:

ME: "Anything I can help you with?"

MOTHER: "Do you still have that box of broken toys?"


Someone on Facebook...I forget who:

"Live every week like it's Shark Week."


Kid at the store:

KID: "Do you have anything for $6.00 or less?"

ME: "I have thousands and thousands of things for $6.00 or less...take a look around."

KID: "Can you show me?"


Crazy guy named Jason:

CRAZY JASON: "Do you know how I have a fat belly?"

ME: "Yes."


At a restaurant/bar with Hoagy:

HOAGY: "I'll have the mixed grill with potatoes and rice."

BARTENDER: "We'll call you Two-Starch Charlie."


Guy selling me his dead dad's stuff:

ME: "...or you could sell these on ebay."

GUY: "I'm an electrician...I know nothing about the internet and how it works."

ME: "Do you collect anything yourself?"

GUY: "Poetry."


TELE-WEASEL: "Hi...I'm calling on behalf of Verizon."

ME: "You work for Verizon?"

TELE-WEASEL: "Yes...on their behalf."

ME: "But you don't ACTUALLY work for them, correct?"

TELE-WEASEL: "I do...on their behalf."

ME: "But you don't get a paycheck from Verizon, correct?"

TELE-WEASEL: "No, but..."

ME: "Thank you...have a great day!"


Cake said...

Snippet replies:

I thought you didn't like peas.

I took your advice and hired a bloody surfer to flop around in my office and scream a lot...it's distracting.

Two-Starch Charlie actually isn't a bad mob name.

Tele-Weasels are people too.

Lois Lane said...

Snippets of snippets that have nothing to do with your snippets:

"Do I look as bad as you do?"

"Who's going to clean up all this glitter?"

"No, you can't use the iPod while you're using the potty."

Hairdresser said...

I'll just take a little snippet off here.