Friday, August 28, 2009

Sgt. Hoagy's Sartorial Hearts Club Band. (Or snippets from BuddyNite))(or something)



WAITRESS: "You're always dressed so sharp...always looking good."

HOAGY: "Thank you."

ME: "HEY!! What about me??"

WAITRESS ::up and downs me...looks at faded jeans, tattered lucky fishing shirt::

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HOAGY: "Is the Blonde joining us tonight?"

ME: "Nope."

HOAGY: "How come?"

ME: "She hates you."

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TEXT MESSAGE FROM WIFEY COMES IN:

ME: "Well, Wifey ain't joining us either."

HOAGY: "How come?"

ME: "She hates you."

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GUY COMES TO TABLE: "Do you have a weed connection?"

ME: "Of course I have a weed connection."

GUY: "Call me."

ME: "Yeah...I'll do that."
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WEED GUYS GAL: "I'm taking some of your fries."

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NOT SO BRIGHT WAITRESS UPON SPOTTING OUR TED KENNEDY 'MEMORIAL' WE SET UP AT TABLE: "Ted died?"

US: "Yup...a few days ago."

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HOAGY: "See that guy over there? Everywhere I go he's there. If I see him again I'm gonna kill him."

ME: "Maybe he just wants to eat."

HOAGY: "Oh."

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HOSTESS AS WE LEAVE: "Are you boys going out puffin'?

ME: "He might be...I'm gonna have a cigar."

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SO TO SUM UP:

Blondie can pick the place next week if she wants.

3 comments:

Gin-Soaked-Ted said...

Some people see taxes and ask "Why?" I see things that have never been taxed and ask "Why not?"

- Sen. Edward M. Kennedy

Crazy Jason said...

Fries sounds like flies and that's what Superman does.

Cake said...

I love when you blog about Gay Wine night!

p.s.
If a Cake comments on old blog entries and nobody's around to see her, does she make a sound?