Thursday, April 06, 2006
Celebrities Suspected of Being Straight.
1. William Shatner
2. Dave Lettermen
3. The guy who played the Skipper
4. Lenny Kravitz
5. Charlie Sheen (not so sure about Emilio)
6. Robert Duvall
7. Robert Duvall (he gets two mentions)
8. Clint Eastwood
9. Simon Cowell
10. James Caan
And I think it's about time they all just admitted it and made it easier for other straight celebrities.
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15 comments:
Adam West
George Clooney
Aw heck, anyone who's played Batman, for that matter.
But not everyone that has directed Batman....
True. But I always tend to think of Joel Schumacher as a war criminal first, pansy second.
Think about it. If "Batman and Robin" wasn't a crime against humanity, I don't know what is.
Heil Schumacher!
And add ET to the list. He's *all* man, baby.
Anything in a Chuck.
(Hard Wood)Chuck Norris
(Hard Wood)Chuck Bronson
(Hard Wood)Chuck Connors (aka "The Rifleman")
So butch and rough-tough you think they couldn't possibly be straight. "They're trying too hard," you think, "but maybe they ARE really straight?"
Chuck Woolery?
Chuck Barris
Charlie "Chuck" Brown
Absolutely. All of the above. And, I'm seeing your Woolery, Barris, and Brown and raising you a Knoblock. I have no idea if that's how you spell his name, but it's kind of a funny name. Knoblock. Heh-heh. Knoblock.
What about Richie Cunningham's brother Chuck?
No way was he straight.
No way, dude. Chuck Cunningham: Mighty He-man. Grrrrrrrrr. Ruff! Granted, he was an Invisible He-man (in the basement for the whole series rather than in a closet).
Clearly, he was so MUCH of a He-man-on-the-hoof that he has made you SUSPECT that he's gay. See the whammy?
Anything in a Chuck.
What about Chuck Liberace?
Chuck Liberace: SUCH a delightful, seemingly queenlicious fellow. Sartorially resplendent in his rhinestone-bidizened tux...His poodle "Miss Pinky LaTouche" never goes out without her chandelier earrings and tiny mink stole...
Nope: Chuck Liberace is a SUPER-SPY. Super-spies wear DISGUISES.
Nice try, gumshoe.
It all makes sense now--Liberace was Chuck Barris' partner in the CIA!
Right on, Lois Lane! You ain't a girl reporter for nothin'! :-)
I suspect Nooprah - but I have no proof. Could be nothing but cruel tabloid gossip.
Or has Nooprah even been blogging long enough to be considered a celebrity?
Discuss amongst yourselves.
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