Thursday, April 06, 2006

Celebrities Suspected of Being Straight.

1. William Shatner

2. Dave Lettermen

3. The guy who played the Skipper

4. Lenny Kravitz

5. Charlie Sheen (not so sure about Emilio)

6. Robert Duvall

7. Robert Duvall (he gets two mentions)

8. Clint Eastwood

9. Simon Cowell

10. James Caan

And I think it's about time they all just admitted it and made it easier for other straight celebrities.


Lois Lane said...

Adam West
George Clooney

Aw heck, anyone who's played Batman, for that matter.

I Ain't No Oprah said...

But not everyone that has directed Batman....

Lois Lane said...

True. But I always tend to think of Joel Schumacher as a war criminal first, pansy second.

Think about it. If "Batman and Robin" wasn't a crime against humanity, I don't know what is.

Drew Barrymore said...

Heil Schumacher!

And add ET to the list. He's *all* man, baby.

Sparkle Plenty said...

Anything in a Chuck.
(Hard Wood)Chuck Norris
(Hard Wood)Chuck Bronson
(Hard Wood)Chuck Connors (aka "The Rifleman")

So butch and rough-tough you think they couldn't possibly be straight. "They're trying too hard," you think, "but maybe they ARE really straight?"

I Ain't No Oprah said...

Chuck Woolery?

Lois Lane said...

Chuck Barris
Charlie "Chuck" Brown

Sparkle Plenty said...

Absolutely. All of the above. And, I'm seeing your Woolery, Barris, and Brown and raising you a Knoblock. I have no idea if that's how you spell his name, but it's kind of a funny name. Knoblock. Heh-heh. Knoblock.

I Ain't No Oprah said...

What about Richie Cunningham's brother Chuck?

No way was he straight.

Sparkle Plenty said...

No way, dude. Chuck Cunningham: Mighty He-man. Grrrrrrrrr. Ruff! Granted, he was an Invisible He-man (in the basement for the whole series rather than in a closet).

Clearly, he was so MUCH of a He-man-on-the-hoof that he has made you SUSPECT that he's gay. See the whammy?

Anything in a Chuck.

I Ain't No Oprah said...

What about Chuck Liberace?

Sparkle Plenty said...

Chuck Liberace: SUCH a delightful, seemingly queenlicious fellow. Sartorially resplendent in his rhinestone-bidizened tux...His poodle "Miss Pinky LaTouche" never goes out without her chandelier earrings and tiny mink stole...

Nope: Chuck Liberace is a SUPER-SPY. Super-spies wear DISGUISES.

Nice try, gumshoe.

Lois Lane said...

It all makes sense now--Liberace was Chuck Barris' partner in the CIA!

Sparkle Plenty said...

Right on, Lois Lane! You ain't a girl reporter for nothin'! :-)

cake said...

I suspect Nooprah - but I have no proof. Could be nothing but cruel tabloid gossip.

Or has Nooprah even been blogging long enough to be considered a celebrity?

Discuss amongst yourselves.