Friday, April 07, 2006

Use your legs NOT your back!

1. Approach the Man and assume a stance about as wide as your own shoulders.

2. Wear fishnet stockings.

3. Your feet should point straight forward or turned out to a 20-25 degree angle at most.

4. Don't overpower him with perfume.

5. A reverse grip should be used when picking up a heavy man.

6. Twirl your hair a bit as you look deep into his eyes.

7. The entire spine should remain neutral, which means you look neither up nor down, but instead, the head follows the body, almost like you're wearing a cervical cast on your neck.

8. Get him drunk.

9. As you stand up while lifting the Man, imagine pushing the earth away from you with your feet.

10. Act real slutty.

11. Pork chops usually work also.


Sparkle Plenty said...

VERY funny! For #7, would it help to actually have a metal rod in your neck?

I Ain't No Oprah said...

You still have that?