Saturday, April 22, 2006
TRUE STORY ( I lie 3% of the time):
So I'm taking my daily swim in the ocean when this adorable sea otter starts swimming along with me. She starts darting around me and under me and making all sorts of otter noises when all of a sudden she starts talking this weird broken english kinda like Yoda. She tells me to swim out to this bobbing buoy and like a mental case I don't question her.
So I'm pretty much out of breath by this time and I'm hanging on to the buoy just resting when she starts kissing me. Not just touching my face but full open mouth kinda human like tongue kissing. I'm freaked out for a a few seconds and then start kissing her back. She's amazing and probably the best kisser ever. This goes on for about twenty minutes or so and I'm wicked revved up. Then in her weird Yoda like voice she tells me to stop...she has something to tell me.
I brace myself. She tells me she's a man otter. Not only a man otter but she's (HE'S!!!!) gay!!! I'm totally freaking out! I'm clinging to a buoy in the middle of the ocean making out with a gay otter!!!
Finally I tell her (him):
"Listen, I don't makeout with no gay otters" and with that I swam off in search of a straight girl otter.