1. Mom plays in an over 30 soccer league and...well, sometimes stuff just happens by accident.
2. The baby was crying and needed to be kicked to death.
3. The baby was hungry and needed to be kicked to death.
4. The baby kept sticking her tongue out in that super cute fashion and needed to be kicked to death.
5. The Mom thought it was her other baby.
6. Mom didn't know that repeated kicks to the kidney would actually harm the baby.
7. Somehow President Bush is to blame.
8. Mom thought it was a squirrel, so who could blame her?
9. On the bright side the baby flew clean through the uprights and Mom's team won in overtime by 3 points.
10. Nothing for #10
5 comments:
11. She thought for sure someone would pull the baby away at the last minute, a la Charlie Brown.
12. She thought it was Bush.
13. She didn't kick it to death - sneaky little thing was just faking it for the insurance money.
It's Kill or be Kicked!
14. The baby was not a baby; it was a possessed doll. Aw, c'mon. I can cite 15 movies to substantiate this claim. The difference between babies and possessed dolls: (1) Babies poop a lot; (2) Possessed dolls carry nasty little knives.
15. Uh, while this looks like a very legit news source, perhaps the facts of the case were somehow slightly misconstrued. Like: It was a rabid, alien, bat baby--not the mother's child?
"Why did I have to kick this baby to death? Well, have you forgotten 9/11?"
"9/11": The perfect excuse for everything...
You're right, Clinky. If she didn't kick the baby to death, the terrorists would have won.
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