Thursday, July 03, 2008

A George Carlin story by proxy

I should have told this story last week but I had forgotten about it. Hoag reminded me.

Years ago we went to see George Carlin in concert.

The concert was held at a predominantly Jewish college so when we got to our seats we instantly were feeling kinda out of place as two of the only white guys in attendance.

It's not that folks were mean to us or anything but you could see their stares and points and stuff.

No big deal. We were there to see George. A white guy.

But we were in our seats, which were fold up chairs, all tied together with those plastic fastener thingies that cops use when busting up large crowds.

And it was very uncomfortable. Everyone was sitting way too close together and it was just awkward.

So Hoag takes out his switchblade (knife, not comb) and starts cutting the fasteners away on our seats.

And then some folks close to us see what he's doing and ask if he'll cut through theirs.

So Hoag (friend of the Jews) starts going seat to seat cutting the plastic things and freeing everyone from sitting in rigid rows.

And by the time the show started the two white guys were now pals with a room filled with non-white guys.


Comedy is colorblind.

Or something.


bacon ace said...

I think George would have liked it that way.

cake said...

I rolled my eyes a lot while reading this.

That's not a bad thing, I'm just sayin'.

(I love that you specified that Hoag used a knife and not his infamous comb...awesome.)

I Ain't No Oprah said...

Why did you roll your eyes?

Lois Lane said...

It would have been more impressive if he had used the comb.

Or if the room had been full of bears.

racial rabblerouser said...

Polar bears or black bears?

cake said...

IANO: I'll tell you for $5.

Sparkle Plenty said...

My top theories as to why they were staring and pointing at you:
1) The blatant PDA--it's like, sure, show your man love, that's good, but don't expect people not to stare and point. Because you two are beautiful together, and you know it. That's why.
2) Your zippers were down and they were mesmirized by the ol' block and tackles. Like when you walk by a construction site and just start staring at the heavy equipment.
3) They were like, "What are these two older guys doing at our college? Don't they have older guy places things to do? Like bingo? Or build some card houses?"
4) Sartorial resplendence is of the utmost import. But, when you're being fashion-forward and wearing leopard print caftans, you gotta expect attention. (Don't get me wrong, you boys can pull those sorts of looks off.)

(I also rolled my eyes, but then one of them got away from me and Lily started playing with it and hid it. Now I'm in a pickle.)

heavy helen said...

Is it a bread and butter pickle or a proper dill pickle?

Enquiring minds wanna know.

Sparkle Plenty said...

Proper dill pickle allllllll the way, Heavy Helen!

su said...

Kosher Dill?