Monday, July 28, 2008

Idiot Savant to be alone


ME: "Groovy Store, may I help you?"

GUY: "What are your hours?"

ME: "Monday through Friday 11:30-6:30, Saturday 10:00 through 5:00, and Sunday 12:00 through 5:00."

GUY: "What are your hours on Monday?"

ME: "Monday-Friday 11:30-6:30. Saturday 10:00-5:00, and Sunday 12:00-5:00."

GUY: "What time do you open on Monday?"

ME: "11:30."

GUY: "AM or PM?"

ME: "AM"

GUY: "What time do you close?"

ME: "6:30."

GUY: "AM or PM?"

ME: "PM."

GUY: "What time do you open on Tuesday?"

ME: "11:30."

GUY: "AM or PM?"

At this point I know I'm doing an Abbott and Costello routine with the guy.

ME: "AM."

GUY: "11:30 AM?"

ME: "Yes."

GUY: "What time do you close?"

ME: "We are open Monday thru Friday 11:30-6:30, Saturday 10:00-5:00, and Sunday 12:00-5:00."

GUY: "I was down your shop the other day and it was awesome and I can't wait until two and half weeks from now to come down and spend lots of money. I want everything!"

ME: "Great...looking forward to you coming down!"

GUY: "What time do you open on Wednesday?"

:::sigh:: This goes on all the way through the days until Sunday. I give the answers he needs, and I can practically see him writing down each individual day and their times (AM and know, cuz lots of my type of stores open at 11:30 at night and close at 6:30 in the morning)...but I slog through it.

GUY: "What time do you open on Sunday?"

ME: "12:00"

GUY: "AM or PM?"

And all of sudden I was the dumbest guy on the planet. I had a retard on the phone asking retard questions yet the retard stumped the Boy Genius. I had no idea if 12 noon was AM or PM.

ME: "12 noon."

GUY: "Is that AM or PM."

ME: "12 in the afternoon."

GUY: "AM or PM?"

ME: "And Sunday from 12:00 in the afternoon until 5:00 in the evening. Thank you, hope to see you soon!"


former, latter, moon revolves around sun, left loosey, righty tighty, Winston Churchill....


Lois Lane said...

Are you hiring?

Sparkle Plenty said...

1) Didn't you sell out of groovy last week?
2) That was no guy. That was Hoagy.3) So, you're closed on Thursdays?

cake said...

"And all of sudden I was the dumbest guy on the planet."

All of a sudden?! Really?

(Someone had to say it.)

cousin saul said...


I Ain't No Oprah said...

Shot in the head while asking stupid questions over the phone...

Anonymous said...

Meanwhile, entirely off target...

Every Yankees fan on the planet is hoping Theo Epstein pulls the trigger on a Manny Ramirez trade.

Seriously. We're offering up our cuddly Joe DiMaggio dolls to the gods for this.

Ramirez and Ortiz are the twin testicles of the BoSox offense's potency. You can lose one and still function, but your potency is going to be diminished.

-- Lamont "Please. Please." Cranston

P.S. Dear Theo Epstein: Jon Lester said your mother smells like last week's fish. And I saw him kicking a ball boy on Yawkey Way.

cake said...

::stuffs Lamont in a closet, locks the door::

And you're not coming out till you can behave!

Lois Lane said...

Yeah! Don't let him out until noon. Whenever that is...

Pierre Trudeau said...

Let me give you a hint...

stating the obvious said...

Trudeau killed today's blog, pass it on...

cake said...

I'll give someone a shiny dollar if they can do a Beatles song riff on this topic.

::flips loony* and waits::

*The coin, not a person.

I Ain't No Oprah said...

I PM The Walrus

I Ain't No Oprah said...

Good AM Good AM

A Hard PMs PM

PM Tripper

Eight PMs a Week

cake said...

I hate when IANO is having A Clever Day.

::sticks a stamp on a loony*, drops it in the mail::

*Again, I mean the coin...not a person.

Tex said...

So What time do close for lunch? and is this Eastern time or Central Time?

Lois Lane said...

No post yet today?

Oh, that's right. It's Tuesday. NoOprah's day off.