Saturday, July 26, 2008

Trial by Gravy

The other day I gave my dog a bit of my mashed potatoes and gravy.

I put it in her dog dish.

Puppy ate said mashed potatoes.

A few days later Wifey says to me: "Damn dog, she got gravy everywhere!"

One simple act. One simple statement.

But let's examine that further, shall we? Under the guise of a trial.

-----------
BALLIFF: "Please state your full name."

WIFEY: "Wifey D. Ogghader."

BALLIFF: "Do you swear to tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth?"

WIFEY: "Whatever."

DASH McLAWYER: "Did you state in your sworn deposition that the "dog got gravy everywhere"

WIFEY: "Yes."

DASH: "Did the dog in fact get the gravy everywhere?"

WIFEY: "Yes."

DASH: "Did the dog get the gravy on the countertop?"

WIFEY: "No."

DASH: "Did the dog get the gravy on the toaster?"

WIFEY: "No."

DASH: "Did the dog get the gravy on the phone?"

WIFEY: "No."

DASH: "Did the dog get the gravy on the doorknob?"

WIFEY: "No."

DASH: "Did the dog get the gravy on the table?"

WIFEY: "No."

DASH: "Did the dog get the gravy on the television set?"

WIFEY: "No."

DASH: "Can you please tell this court, where in fact, the dog got the gravy!?"

WIFEY: "Everywhere."

DASH: "No further questions. The prosecution rests."

5 comments:

Lois Lane said...

To sum up:

The dog got gravy everywhere....constantly.

Anonymous said...

Gravy...Here, There, Everywhere.

Anonymous said...

Everywhere Rigby

Anonymous said...

I'll Follow The Sun Everywhere

Ain't She Sweet Everywhere

Drive My Car Everywhere

PS I Love You....Everywhere.

I Wanna Be Your Man Everywhere

I'm Looking Through You...Everywhere.

Let It Be Everywhere

You Really Got A Hold On Me Everywhere

Twist and Shout Everywhere

Anonymous said...

To sum up further:

When Cake is away...the mice go into hiding.

Or something.