Monday, September 22, 2008

Observations from the Emmy Awards.

1) Howie Mandel=not funny

2) Did Christina Applegate lose weight? Her boobs look smaller. Or something.

3) The opening ten minutes were painful. Real, real painful. I was literally bleeding out of my eyes.

4) The Laugh-In bit...painful. I was literally bleeding out of my eyes.

5) Oprah=one big fat tub of goo. I was literally bleeding out of my eyes when she came on.

6) Steve Martin was kinda funny. I was literally laughing out of my eyes.

7) So was Don Rickles.

8) Mary Tyler might want to wear sleeves.

9) Yes, yes we get it...Hollywood is liberal. SHUT THE FUCK UP! I was literally bleeding out of my eyes everytime someone made a political statement.

10)Ricky Gervais bit was way funny. Though the American OFFICE is funnier.

11) I'm literally bleeding out of my eyes right now.

12) Figuratively speaking, of course.


bacon ace said...

So why do you watch this crap again?

I Ain't No Oprah said...

Shatner was on it.

cake said...

I watched the Yankees game instead of the Emmy Awards.

That literally made me figuratively bleed outta my eyes, too.

I Ain't No Oprah said...

You watched the Yankees?

You mean the Not-Going To-The Playoffs-Yankees?

cake said...

Yes, those Yankees. They cried like the big smelly Yankee babies they are, too.

(Not blood, though...just plain girl tears.)

Lois Lane said...

I watched part of this live last night and fast forwarded through the rest on the DVR during lunch.

Next year, if they must have 4 guys and 1 gal host, could it please be Jon Stewart, Steven Colbert, Steve Carrell, Ricky Gervais and Tina Fey?

If one of those guys can't make it, sub in Don Rickles.

And good golly, yes. Someone please get Mary Tyler Moore some sleeves. Yikes.

gal from new zealand said...

I'd watch ANYTHING for a glimpse of Shatner!!!

julie said...

I think Shatner's bit (ripping off MS Klum's dress) was very sexist.

Anonymous said...

It takes a man to cry.

Derek Jeter is all man. Right down to the pinstripes.

Nelson de la Rosa was only half a man. But I have no evidence that he cried, except when people kept trying to use him as a garden gnome.

-- Lamont "And We'll Have 26 In The New Stadium, Too" Cranston

jonnycake said...

Heidi Klum? "Gets paid big bucks for walking around next to naked" Heidi Klum? That Heidi Klum? They just saved her the trouble of doing what she does herself. (btw, it wasn't real, get over it)

Pip said...

You were joking about Christina Applegate, right?

She had a double mastectomy last month or the month before.