Tuesday, September 16, 2008

Barack Obama speaks with a retarded kid.


OBAMA: "We must CHANGE the way we chew GUM! Yes we can!"


OBAMA: "We must CHANGE the way we care for our GUMS! Yes we can!"


OBAMA: "We must CHANGE the way our elderly are cared for and how they eat their food! Yes we can!"


OBAMA: "We must CHANGE our tax code so no child is left not wearing SHOES!" Yes we can!"


OBAMA: "We must CHANGE the way our youth lusts after celebrity endorsed shoes and make them lust after an education! Yes we can!"


OBAMA: "We must CHANGE our country from one that IMPORTS shoes to one that EXPORTS shoes! Yes we can!"


OBAMA: "We must CHANGE the way our youth looks up to gangs with guns and knifes! We must make them look up to their parents! Yes we can!"


OBAMA: "We must strike down poverty and hunger in the Sudan. Teach them to eat wiith forks and knifes! Yes we can!"


OBAMA'S SECURITY CHIEF: "Hey Barry...you have gum on your shoe...use this to scrap it off."

OBAMA: " No I CAN'T! I'll just CHANGE them!"


Yeah, yeah I know...you could see the punchline coming a mile away. I'll try and CHANGE that next time.


Lois Lane said...


PALIN: Why yes, I am wearing a new shade of lipstick. Thank you for noticing!

I Ain't No Oprah said...

This is gonna be a tough 50 days with you ain't it?

Lois Lane said...

I'm sorry. I forgot you were so sensitive about your new girlfriend.

I Ain't No Oprah said...

My daughter was leaving for work this morning and she was complaining of having a bad hair day.

ME: "Just put it up in a Palin."

DAUGHTER: :::big smile, puts it up into a Palin:::

Sparkle Plenty said...


PALIN: Why, I didn't realize he was a physician. Who is he healing?


PALIN: I heard you, sweetheart. He's doctoring! Yaay! Good for him!

cake said...

I was feeling kicky this morning so I've put my hair up in a Biden.

Bad idea.

I hope it all grows back soon...

Sparkle Plenty said...

On the plus side, I imagine you've discovered amazing new pointing and measuring-with-hands skills! (Just use a headband while you're "biden" your time!)

Sparkle Plenty said...

IANO: Sheesh! What have you got against CHANGE, anyway? The more CHANGES the merrier!

cake said...


I'm thinking of some CHANGE...I might buzz my hair off and see if I can pull off an Obama. Whattya think?

Lois Lane said...

Bowie for VP! Bowie for VP! Bowie for VP!


Sparkle Plenty said...

Cakie: You betcha! You could pull off a 'bama. I'm sure you'd look quite chic--unlike myself, who would no doubt resemble one of the lads in the "rec room" of "One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest."

Lois: Boooooooooooooooooooots! I agree. Bowie would be a solid choice for Veep. Why don't they consult us in these matters?

Lois Lane said...

Q: What's the difference between a hockey mom and David Bowie?

A: David Bowie looks better in lipstick.

bacon ace said...

You're daughter is taking fashion tips from you? I don't know what's worse; the fact that you're giving them or the fact that she's taking them.

steam fangs palin said...

What would your name be if you were Sarah Palin's newest retarded kid? I bet you're dying to find out:


Sparkle Plenty said...

Crunk Petrol Palin!
(using real name)

Comma Liberty Palin!
(using Sparkle--I kinda like this one)

I Ain't No Oprah said...

Beans Harpoon Palin.

But just call me Beans.

I Ain't No Oprah said...

Using the blog name I'm:

Shoulder Frontier Palin

Just call me Beans.

cake said...

Just call me:

Gravel Blood Palin


Lois Lane said...

My "real' name =
Taupe Armageddon Palin

Lois Lane =
Engine Nighthawk Palin
(I like this one.)

Sparkle Plenty said...

IANO: Hiya, Beans!

Cakie: I couldn't let yours rest at that--too reminiscent of a kidney stone. With variants on your blog name, you are also:
Grill Igloo Palin
Speck Backfire Palin
Stinger Assassin Palin (YEAH! VIPER GIRL!)

Lois: Engine Nighthawk is the best name ever. You are a spitfire female heroine in a postapocalyptic graphic novel. You can fix stuff and FLY! Your super-power: Knowing when mechanics cheat people and flying in to intervene!

I Ain't No Oprah said...

I'm not making this up:

My daughter who works at a school (where town voting was taking place) just called me up and said that numerous people came up to her and said: "Has anybody ever told you that you look like Sarah Palin?"

Though now I'm creeped out that I have the hots for someone that looks like my daughter....thank god I don't have a son.

cake said...

Yeah, if you had a son and had a crush on a man who looked like him...that'd make you gay. And that's a lot creepier than crushing on your daughter.

No, wait, I got that wrong...oh, I'm getting all confused...


bacon ace said...

Yeah check it out:

Real name = Tank Dent Palin

Blog name = Trowel Ogre Palin

They're both so kick as I just can't choose.

I Ain't No Oprah said...

Do an amalgam...Tank Orge!

Horroru (Joe O) said...

Good to see they're publicly admitting that Deval Patrick is a retarded kid. Sure answers a lot of questions....

I Ain't No Oprah said...

I'm glad someone caught that that was a pic of Deval.

cousin saul said...

Since I escaped from the retarded state of Massachusetts several years ago (to the land of sunshine and paradise) I did NOT recognize Deval Patrick! Much funnier now...

Hitler said...

Meh, they all look the same to me.

Anonymous said...

Moose Roadster Palin