Friday, September 01, 2006

Don't Stop Thinkin' About Tomorrow

There is a good chance that Hillary Clinton will be the next Democratic candidate for the Presidency (because of the Left Wing Conspiracy) and us Republicans are salivating at the thought. Two things can happen....she'll get trounced by the Republicans, or even better....she'll win and then we can make fun of her for 4 years.

If she wins we can look forward to:

1. The first set of cankles (thats where the ankle and calf are hard to distinguish from one another) in the White House since Taft.

2. Bill Clinton as First ::snicker:: Lady

3. The new china pattern picked out by Bill for The White House dining room.

4. Bill Clinton's first White House tea....maybe some of those little watercress finger sandwiches would be nice.

5. Hillary's official portrait hanging in the 'ugly wing' next to the Abe Lincoln and Jimmy Carter ones.

6. Hillary getting caught with her lesbian intern in the Oval Office.

7. Bill getting caught with Hillary's lesbian intern in the Oval Office.

8. Bill giving a tour of the White House at Christmas time to Katie Couric...showing off all the hand made ornaments and crap...saying things like "Isn't this snowman just adorable"

9. Hillary freakin' out when the ghost of Vince Foster pays her a nighttime visit.

10. Land scandals.

I'm tingly just thinkin about it! Win or lose I win.

35 comments:

cake said...

Am I the only one who thinks he's got the hots for Hillary??

I Ain't No Oprah said...

::insert vomiting noise here::

cake said...

Awww, he's love sick for Hillary, even.

Bemisdown said...

First of all, I've already sent several prayers up to God that the Dems WON'T run Hillary (But He's sorta pissed at me right now). I PERSONALLY have nothing against a smart, articulate, socially conscious woman for President, but obviously SOME of you do.

And secondly, Bill's first White House Tea would be held at the local McDonalds

Bemisdown said...

Cake,

Yeah-he secretly loves Hillary-he just wraps her pictures in one of his Confederate flags and hides them in the back of his closet.

I Ain't No Oprah said...

Bemisdown:

Why don't you want the Dems to run her?

cousin saul said...

Bill Clinton's first official dinner party as "First Lady" will be catered by Hooters.

Bemisdown said...

Because she'll lose.

I Ain't No Oprah said...

And then I win.

See? It's all good.

I Ain't No Oprah said...

Bemisdown:

Who would you like the Dems to run?

And shouldn't just about any Democrat win in 2008?

Bemisdown said...

I'd LOVE to see Barack Obama run.

And yeah, ANY democrat should win, but if looks dicey around election time, I'm going for Phyllis Diller as a write-in candidate. Or maybe Will Ferrell. Can't decide.

Phil Donahue's Niece said...

//There is a good chance that Hillary Clinton will be the next Democratic candidate for the Presidency//

hee hee hee ::snort:: BWAAAAAAAAAAA HA HA HAHA

No wait... no wait... let me say this out loud...

There is a good chance that Hillary Clinton will be the next Democratic candidate for the Presidency...

hee hee hee ::snort:: BWAAAAAAAAAAAA HA HA HA HA HA

Oh that's just silly!

Bemisdown said...

nooprah...

I'd also be happy with John Edwards or Mark Warner....JUST SOMEONE WHO'LL WIN!!!!!!

Of course, whichever candidiate wins, they'll need the political equivalent of Merry Maids to clean up the mess left behind by our current "Retard and Chief."

cake said...

Stewart/Colbert 2008...pretty, pretty please!

Bemisdown said...

Cake,

Awesome idea! EVERYONE would watch the State of the Union addresses.

motheragawd said...

Hillary is Hill-arious!

Sparkle Plenty said...

Maybe Martin Sheen? What the heck...reality and fantasy blur into a surreal kaleidoscope of swirlituderiffic truthiness these days anyhow...

Plus, there's precedent: Ronald Reagan...who had sooooooo much foreign policy and leader-of-the-free-world experience under his belt (yes, nooprah, I'm sure he was your super-hero blah blah blah ginger). And, our current fearless leader who is eminently qualified...to be a frat boy.

Yes: Martin Sheen...sufficient gravitas...earnest truthiness patina...good intentions...2008 father of our country. Of course, there's the Charlie Sheen Factor ("Charlie Coke" will be the new "Billy Beer"). And, Marty might have a heart attack under duress like he did during Apocalpyse Now (did anyone else see the Harry Belafonte sequel--Apocalypso Now?) and then his running mate, Barbra Streisand would have to take over the helm...Which might make nooprah even crankier.

cake said...

You guys'd better stop or NoOprah's gonna start crying Frito-scented tears...

I Ain't No Oprah said...

So even all you freakish Democratic broads don't like Hillary?

I love when people bring up Barack Obama as a viable contender. Yeah, like maybe after he's captured and paid for his 9/11 crimes.

Phil Donahue's Niece said...

//Stewart/Colbert 2008...pretty, pretty please!//

I second this!

Bemisdown said...

I like Hillary, cankles and all.

She just won't win.

I Ain't No Oprah said...

That's what you said about Bush.

Bemisdown said...

Sparkle,

If we're going Hollywood, then Denzel is the clear choice. So he never actually played a fake president on a show I've never watched. Big deal. He's Denzel!

But how could anyone resist? (and to make nooprah happy, we could toss in Halle Berry as his running mate).

I'm going to order some bumper stickers right now.

Bemisdown said...

Bush didn't win...remember?

cake said...

Bemisdown:

HA!! Nice.

(I just phoned Rob Corddry...he's available to be press secretary if Stewart/Colbert are elected.)

Bemisdown said...

Good job Cake.

I'm ready to stuff envelopes, make phone calls, have sex with whoever will provide a substantial financial contribution....just let me know.

I Ain't No Oprah said...

Bush didn't win?? What kinda puppy meds are you on??? Of course he won.

And if there was an election today against Kerry, he'd win again.

And if there was an election against Gore...Gore would lose his home state once again!

And Reagan ended the cold war. And the Stones are better than the Beatles.

Bemisdown said...

Reagan didn't end the Cold War.

cake said...

But the Stones are better than the Beatles.

Bemisdown said...

And Truman would win an election against Bush in 2008, despite the inconveniant fact that he's dead.

I Ain't No Oprah said...

Truman was good. He dropped bombs.

Bemisdown said...

I think Reagan sang with the Beatles a couple of times. At Yankee Stadium.

I Ain't No Oprah said...

He wrote BackDown in the USSR.

cake said...

Let's see, if there was a Beatles song about Bush, what would it be...

Hmmmm.

Happiness is a Warm Gun?

motheragawd said...

Wait - Bush has cankles?