Wednesday, September 20, 2006

I think it's good for the gander...or something.

Years ago while moving some furniture I hurt my back and fell to the floor in pain.

I kept trying to get up but I couldn't.
I just kept falling back on the floor.

Wifey just watched me and laughed and laughed.

And laughed.

This week Wifey got a bad dose of Poison Ivy...

21 comments:

spud said...

...shes gonna need an ocean, of calamine lotion

I Ain't No Oprah said...

SPUD!

mrs bacon ace said...

bacon ace once laughed at me after i fell down the stairs while carrying two bags of trash, thus removing the skin from the entire of my right calf which eventually became infected. (I called it my "rotten leg" in a cockney accent)

he didn't understand why the next time he was sick, i laughed at him whilst he violently vomited (it sounded something like "HU-WAAAH!!!")

aaaah, karma.

The real Spud said...

Imposter or Identity theif?

bacon ace said...

That fall was hilarious! It happened in slow motion if that's possible. Also she took some skin off her shin not "rom the entire of my right calf".

"he didn't understand why the next time he was sick, i laughed at him whilst he violently vomited (it sounded something like "HU-WAAAH!!!")"

Way to overplay your injury, and underplay mine ;-) She left out that I had been vomiting all week because of pain killers needed for kidney surgery, and that the vomiting hurt like hell because of the traumatized area's muscles clenching the way they do when you vomit. I won't lie, it did sound funny though ;-)
She also made me clean it up while in that amount of pain. At least I helped her up while laughing. And I only laughed after I knew she was OK.

I Ain't No Oprah said...

Mrs Bacon Ace just used the word 'whilst'

That might be funnier than a broken collar bone drenched in vomit.

Phil Donahue's Niece said...

Question for the men: Do your wives do the cooking in your households? Because Visene is undetectable in food, and um... does a nasty job on your insides.

Not that I ever used it, but the threat alone has made for a very compassionate husband. Ya know?

I Ain't No Oprah said...

Didn't Owen Wilson use that on a guy in Wedding Crashers?

bacon ace said...

You mean Visine the eye drops?

Phil Donahue's Niece said...

mm hmm

bostongraf said...

Yes, she does the cooking. But I do the dishes! If I get sick, she does the cooking AND the dishes...

I would rather vomit than do dishes, so I'll take the eyedropper heaves!

(I really really REALLY hate doing dishes.)

(Really.)

Clinky said...

It's like that issue of Batman, where he fights Poison Ivy.

Drew Barrymore said...

Adolf always laughs and laughs when I stub my toe.

Sparkle Plenty said...

Okay: This is SERIOUS. No joking around. I had a HORRIBLE case of poison ivy this summer. It kept spreading, and spreading, and spreaaaading. You gotta get the good expensive stuff for wifey--skip the calamine lotion. There's this stuff you use in the shower that really, really, really works. Go buy some for her. STAT!!!!!!!

I Ain't No Oprah said...

Should I just go to CVS and ask: "Could you please give me the stuff Sparkle uses"

Or is there an actual product name that will make things easier?

And would you tell me said product name?

Phil Donahue's Niece said...

Sparkle - tell him, but only if he promises to do the dishes.

Grumpy said...

...I knew it all along...

and cake didn't get my $5!

Bemisdown said...

When I was a kid, my friend and I fed a TON of Poisen Ivy to some horses. They just looked like leaves to us (not the horses-we weren't THAT stupid)

My friend ended up in the hospital and I was a miserable itchy mess for an eternity.

I don't know what happened to the horses, and I don't really care. They indirectly caused me a period of discomfort, so they are now on my official "Another Member of the Animal Kingdom I Dislike" list. Although I think Christopher Reeves had a stronger case of "I Hate Horses" than me.

Bemisdown said...

Nooprah,

Just go to CVS and start by saying "My friend Sparkle..." and note the response.

You can the continue with your wife's poisen ivy story, but all of the helpful pharmacy folks will probably not hear you because they'll be thinking "He has a friend named "SPARKLE?" "Hold on while we check "SPARKLES" (giggle giggle) recent prescriptions."

By the way Sparkle, no offense meant. But it would be funny.

Sparkle Plenty said...

It would be VERY funny, Bemisdown; zero offense taken. I only wish I'd chosen the screen name "Mr. Peepers" because it would be even funnier for Noopie to say that.

Fer some golldarn reason, ain't noopie's swinging blogosphere kept rejecting my attempts to post yesterday. Sooooo: For all of those who feed horsies poison ivy or say "Oooh, looky that pretty plant" and pick a bouquet: BUY DERMOPLAST and keep using it 'til it don't itch no more. (I DON'T get paid for my testimonials; I just tried everything else on the poison ivy shelf...) For the record: Phil Donahue's Niece is 100% right (as always, she's a smartie)...Noopie should do the dishes--or buy pizza and use paper plates (my personal preference 9 times out of 10).

cake said...

I can't believe there are losers on this blog who actually COOK.

Haven't you people heard of takeout?

(I'm a bad wife, myself, wanna make something of it?)

Oh, yes, and I'm posting comments on blog entries that are almost a week old. Shaddup.