Wednesday, September 06, 2006

The I AINT NO OPRAH Quiz

Let's see how close you've been paying attention:

THE I AINT NO OPRAH FIRST ANNUAL QUIZ AND CLAMBAKE

The best Hoagy based blog was:

a) The switchblade comb story
b) The bloody Kotex story
c) Grooving in the handicapped seats story.
d) Donating all his time to the children's burn ward story

The poster who just posts too damn much:
a) Mr. Cake
b) Devil's Cake
c) Cake
d) Ms Cake

The poster who is usually strung out on puppy dope:
a) Momenger
b) Bemisdown
c) Anunomess
d)MotherofGawd
e) all of the above

I AINT NO OPRAH's Favorite subject:
a) Hitler
b) Hoagy
c) Mel Gibson
d) Douchebags
e) retards

My favorite daughter:
a) My oldest
b) My youngest
c) Somebody else's.

Favorite poster from New Zealand:
a) Sparkle Plenty
b) Lois Lane
c) The Gal from New Zealand

Winner of the first deadpool:
a) PwDonz
b) Ann
c) Cousin Saul

Loser of the first deadpool:
a) Steve Irwin

Least likely to attend a Star Trek Convention:
a)Phil Donahue's Niece
b) Steve Irwin

Did Momenger become:
a) StuckWithGiantBreasts
b) BushMakesHerSick
c) Bemisdown

Big word award should go to:
a) Sparkle Plenty
b) Sparkle Plenty
c) Sparkle Plenty
d)MotherofGawd
e) Some other douchebag retard.

John Kerry is a:
a) douchebag
b) retard
c) The junior yet esteemed Senator from Massachusetts.
d) Baby killin' loser.

Who is the King of the Non-sequitur

a) Clinky
b) Aquaman
c) Gazongalicious
d) Paul from Montreal
e) A & D

Who has the sexiest eyes:
a) Lois Lane
b) Cake
c) I aint no Oprah

Who is neither Roger or a Shrubber
a) Roger the Shrubber

Who most needs to do a real daily thought provoking blog:
a) Anunomess
b) Hoagy (his stupid Comb blog just isn't cutting it)

Who needs to post more:
a) T
b) Cousin Saul
c) Paul
d) Frank
e) Steve
f) Forry
g) My wife
h) One of my kids
i) But just my favorite
j) Bruce
k)More Jews
l) More Republicans
m) All you douchebag retarded lurkers.

Part Two will be a surprise quiz coming soon.

23 comments:

not cake said...

Yeah, that Cake person is a posting monster. Can't someone do something about her? Like, take away her keyboard or something?

Though she definitely has the sexiest eyes...

Lois Lane said...

Arragh! A quiz? A quiz? On the first day of school?

::panics and fumbles for a number 2 pencil::

a.) The Bill of Rights!

b.) The Earth 2 Hoagy, with a revolver, in the drawing room.

c.) If John Kerry was on a train going 55 miles an hour west, and Katie Couric was on a train going 34 miles an hour east, then Mike Douglas is the new cohost of "The View."

No, wait! He's dead! ARRAGH!

::pencil breaks and Lois sobs::

Is there a make-up test? Perhaps I could do an essay or build something out of paper mache?

I Ain't No Oprah said...

Clearly I'll have to grade on a curve.

Phil Donahue's Niece said...

Nice to know the only other COOL person who wouldn't attend a Star Trek conventionis dead.

I def. vote Hoagy's comb story as the best Hoagy story.

I Ain't No Oprah said...

My fav also.

someone other than cake said...

Ditto here.

Though the blog about how he spent that whole month in the burn ward, nursing little Timmy through the worst of his third-degree burns, still makes me well up.

Anunomess said...

::must not blog::
::must not blog::
::must not blog::...

Thought provoking? on puppy meds??

::delete::
::delete::
::delete::

Clinky said...

c) You real soon!

moe berg said...

where are the clams?

key lime bundt cake said...

I love that none of the douchebag loser lurkers even bothered to post a defense of their douchebag loser lurking habits.

Ha!

I Ain't No Oprah said...

Moe Berg posted! I knew my call for more Jews would be heard! Or is he a Republican? Maybe a Republican Jew?

Maybe he's one of my kids...

cake said...

You have a male, Jewish, Republican daughter?

Wow.

Bemisdown said...

Dear Miss Nooprah,

Can't we have an essay question?

And some of these are just mean TRICK questions for those of us who studied really hard. Nooprah's favorite subject-Hitler vs. Hoagy? Who can answer THAT one right?
I'm switching classes.

Bemisdown said...

But MY favorite Hoagy based blog is the Grooving in the handicapped seats story.

Why do I always have to be different than the rest of the class?

Aquaman said...

Wait...Hoagy fought Hitler???????

Bemisdown said...

Cake,

He's always liked his male Jewish Republican daughter the best.

And don't think what's her name, you know, the "other kid" doesn't notice.

Bemisdown said...

aquaman,

I think there might have been a "Hoagy vs. Hitler" fight. At a Roller Derby rink.

Oh screw it-I've already flunked this class.

cake said...

Let's just cut class and go smoke out behind the school and make scowly faces at the jocks, Bemisdown.

janesays said...

I'm still waiting for my lobsters.

Preferably the kind that are wrapped in bacon, tucked inside a brownie, and served with a $7 glass of wine.

Bemisdown said...

I'm with cake on this one.

But do we still get to go to the clambake?

pinchus moscovitch from de nort' countree said...

Yer quiz reminds me that the absolute best way to sort comic collections is to sort them into piles as follows:

A-D
E-G
H-K
L-P
Q-S
T-V
W-Z

Then do a second sort into A,B,C etc.

Got a copy of Nth Man in your hand? Goes into pile #4, because that's the elemenopee pile.

Always glad to help.

Pinchus Moscovitch, a Goldwater fan from de nort' countree.

motheragawd said...

I'm on the quiz! Whew. I was afraid I might be a douchebag lurker.

Bemisdown said...

I'm still trying to figure out what "pinchus WEFIGSEDFNKJFHZS," or whatever his name is, said.

And Motheragawd,

At least you got on his quiz in reference to big WORDS, NOT big BOOBS.

I'm going to purchase a Thesaurus AND a breast reduction operation. THEN we'll see who gets some respect next anniversary quiz.