Tuesday, January 13, 2009

Joy in Mudville

So yesterday around 2:00 I hear the news about Jim Rice being elected to the baseball Hall of Fame.

I instantly shoot off an email to Wifey because I know she'll be excited and because I know she knows that Big Jim was (and is) my all time favorite player. Ever:


WIFEY: "I heard"

ME: "We'll celebrate it tonight!"


So after a day of giddy excitement I finally get home and I spot my oldest daughter in the living room:

ME: "Hey...great news about Jim Rice, huh?"

OLDEST: "Who is Jim Rice?"

ME: "My all-time favorite Red Sox player and he just got elected to the Hall of Fame!"

OLDEST: ::crickets::


And then I spot Wifey.

I put my arms around her waist and just hold her for a second.

ME: "Did you tear up when you heard the news?"

WIFEY: "What news?"

ME: "About Jim Rice getting elected to the Hall of Fame on his final try!"

WIFEY: "No."


And then the celebration began!

I ate dinner alone on my special Jim Rice Got Elected To The Hall Of Fame Chair.

Dinner consisted of what we now call The Jim Ed Rice Special: Ham and eggs and a bagel, milk and orange juice. (Denny's would call it the Hall Of Fame Slam)

And the celebration continued:

On over to the couch where me and Wifey watched three or four sitcoms in honor of Jim Rice being elected to The Hall of Fame!

Obviously Wifey was exhausted from the celebration and went on up to bed. I stayed downstairs alone and partied like it was 1999!

Or something.


It was now past midnight. No more party noise from the neighborhood.

So I went up to bed.

And in my celebration haze I must have woke up Wifey from a bad dream where Jim Rice DIDN'T get elected to the Hall of Fame....cuz she sounded kinda mad.


Jim Rice, Hall of Famer.


Cake said...

My whole evening last night was planned in his honour...I had rice, Jim Beam, and Slim Jims for supper...then I watched the movie Fame while sitting in the hall.

No, really! It's true!

(Maybe not...)

I did have a glass of wine in his honour, though...hey, any excuse.

Cake said...

(It was on the news this morning...the announcer did have a tear in his eye.)

Sparkle Plenty said...

10 things you coulda eaten in tribute to this fine, fine baseball legend ('though don't get me wrong, ham 'n eggs is eternally awesome):

1) Dirty jimrice
2) Fried jimrice
3) Spanish jimrice
4) Jimrice pudding
5) Campbell's Kitchen One Dish Chicken & Jimrice Bake
6) Seakitten jimrice cheddar loaf
7) Baseball Hall of Fame Bi Bim Bap
8) Jimrice-A-Roni
9) Duck with wild jimrice stuffing
10) Nothing for #10 because "Minute Jim Rice" would be insulting to the legend.

Cake said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
mulderjoe said...

I loved Jim Rice. He was my favorite basketball player ever.

Cake said...

Hey Sparkle:

Great minds, yes?

The whole thing is pretty cool.

Sarah said...

What a great Soccer player.

Jim Rice said...

I hate ham.

The Zep said...

-Whole Lotta Glove

Jim Hanley said...

Nope. Just not funny.

jim Hanley's Bloody Finger said...

"I am Jim Hanley's Bloody Finger and I'm only two miles away...."

! said...

I think this is the most hilarious blog ever in the history of bloggery!

? said...

Once again you are jumping the gun !.
I think it's questionably the most unhilarious blog in in the history of bloggery

What say you :?

: said...

I'm so high...did anyone see where I left my egg, ham n cheese breakfast sandwich?

jim rice said...


I thought it was a tribute to one boys personal hero.

What is so funny about that?

Ice Newer Weiner said...

Don't make fun of punctuation marks! Punctuation marks are cool! I love them! If this blog had more punctuation marks I would think it was very funny!

... said...

Let me trail off and think about that for awhile.

( ) said...

What's wrong with me? What did I do to you all? Why am I shunned?

(Or something.)

' said...

Dear Jim Rice,

You need me in your comment.

One Boy's Apostrophe

::Something:: said...

I'm Cake's favourite!

Habs said...

No way, I'm Cake's favourite!

Harmful Algal Blooms said...

Who, us? sniff

We didn't think anyone cared.

Sea Kittens said...

You're letting that murderer into the hall of fame?

*Something* said...

Cake is fond of me too.

Cake said...

I appreciate the Canadian spelling by all this afternoon's anonymous posters who, for once, are NOT me.



Bruins said...

Eat our ice Habs!

Habs said...

Bruins translates to "big skating losers" in French...really.

Bruins said...

Habs translates into: French snobby losers who cry like women.

That is the literal translation actually.

I Ain't No Oprah said...

Hey Frenchie...you do know that nobody in America cares about hockey, correct?

Bruins said...




AMERICA said...

Which one of me? North or South?

Or: The really, really north part of me or the just kinda southish part of me?


I CARE!!!!!!

I CARE VERY MUCH!!!!!!!!!!


What is "el hockey"?


Don't forget about me. I mean it! Everybody forgets about me!

I'm central, dammit! I'm central! And I can do things! I'm central!

America said...

Central America:
No one cares about your cocaine...except perhaps the Habs.

Anonymous said...

Dear America,

You look fat in those jeans.

Central America

America said...

Dear Central America,

You've got something on your nose.


Anonymous said...

Dear America,

No. It is UP my nose. What? Did you just fall off one of your American turnip trucks?

Central America

Motto: "We're central, you're not!"

Cake said...

Okay then. I thought *I* was bored but apparently other people are even MORE bored than me.

Habs rule.

Chairman of the Bored said...

Perhaps so.

Now, what is this "Habs" that you say "rule"?

Is it a snack food?

2- 1...crap! said...


Just curious said...

Hey, Bruins! If HABS means "Heroine Addicted Boy Skaters," which heroines are they addicted to? Wonder Woman? Storm? Supergirl?

Lenny Bruce said...

I think the Bruins meant "heroin."

River Phoenix said...

I agree with Lenny.

David'Z RantZ said...


That's what they call those little bean bags you bounce off of your feet and knees and stuff, right? Hockey sacks?

David'Z RantZ said...

I always liked Uncle Jim's Converted Rice. Not sure what he converted to... Maybe he was Jewish?

Bruins said...

Speak for yourself Lenny and River I've got a thing for Wonder Woman. Most of the other guys go for Claire though...