Friday, January 02, 2009
The One Kill Exemption
Those of you with two or more kids already know this.
You other folks...listen up.
As soon as your second child is born they whisk you into a room and explain The One Kill Exemption (TOKE) to you and how best to use it.
You see....you're allowed to kill one of your kids at anytime you wish with no penalty or stigma attached whatsoever.
You're allowed one child kill. (as long as you have more than one. You cannot TOKEout an only child)
The rule is designed to keep your kids in line and most of the time you never have to use TOKE.
Your kids are implanted with a small chip at birth letting them subconciously know about TOKE so they behave.
The problem arises when you've used up your TOKE chip.
Now the other kid knows he or she can do whatever they want.
And that's how kids win.
So anyhow, last night around 2 in the morning I woke up and for some reason I looked out the window and noticed in the driveway that one of the kids left the lights on in the car.
Luckily for my oldest, Wifey then woke up and told me that Oldest didn't use the car.
It was youngest I was gonna have to TOKE out.
But if I did it... then Oldest would be ruling the roost.
And then I fell back to sleep.
And my kids live another day.
SO TO SUM UP:
If I EVER have to walk out to the driveway at 2:00am in 10 degree windy weather you better watch your back.