Friday, March 10, 2006

James Bond Girls That Didn't Quite Make It.



Over the years the James Bond GIrls have had some classic if not inspired names: Plenty O'Toole, Mary Goodnight, Holly Goodhead, and of course Pussy Galore.

Here's some that just kinda sucked and were rejected:

1. Eileen Wennadrink

2. Ida Kindadum

3. Kenya Riley Seymour

4. Milky Whitethighs

5. Eclipse Couponz

6. Anita Moorepie

7. Gorgeous Fawn Budder

8. Wanda Pazmedagravy

9. Lotta Cellulite

10. Plenty O'Drool

I'm sure there is more...

13 comments:

cake said...

These chicks were a no-go right from the start...

Hally Tosys
Lilly Le Prosy
Heavy Helen
Bertha "Big Foot" Smith
Adolfa Hitler
Greta Ballzoffire

Lois Lane said...

Anna Thatsaspicymeatball
Jackie Eye-Eeeioh

and for the local Boston crowd...

Parker Cahinhahvardyahd

Anonymous said...

Heavy Helen????

cake said...

Assholeway.

cake said...

See what you did, Anonymous? You were mean about my lame entries and now everyone else is afraid to post.

Tsk.

Sparkle Plenty said...

I'm just getting warmed up here. Stretching the muscles. And, while Anonymous's "assholeway" was splendidly succinct and earned him a spot in the Nooprah Hall o' Loser Fame, ain't seen much else out of his royal non-entitiness so far. No doubt, too busy porking Heavy Helen.

Whiny Chattalot
Bitsy Toothysuck
Brawny o' Brokeback
Contessa SuStinkee Von Nasty Nooks
Coco Clingonyou
Tammy Faye Baker
Carlotta Havea Meaty-Cankles
Needina Hi-Maintainz

Phil Donahue's Niece said...

Anita Nuddershot
Emma Gunnakilya
(lame, I know...)

Real names I've come across in my job:

Colleen McLuckie
Diane Stradling
Sarah Berry Short
Terry Wondershine
The Magical POOF! <--- no lie
Lizzy Laime
Michelle M. Jelley
Sameer Butt <--- had me laughing for days
Dick Hatem
Ron Dichter (Dichter? I don't even know her!)
Lorraine Feltus

Sparkle Plenty said...

"The Magical Poof"! What the hell does he pull out of his hat?!

cake said...

Certainly not Heavy Helen, that's for sure...she'd never fit.

Sparkle Plenty said...

If, somehow, these names end up posting twice, please forgive me, all. And, hope you have great weekends.

Ivana Nagallatima
Sandy Innabed
Mary Mequick
Squeaky Commer
Ida Likka-Ring
Iva Gottaheadache
Sadie U. Thinkilookfat

Phil Donahue's Niece said...

The Magical Poof is a SHE not a he.

Sparkle Plenty said...

Oops. I just assumed that "The Magical Poof" expresses "his" joyful brokeback mountain-tude with "his" flair-filled stage name. Poof goes that theory. Ah...Shows once again that when I assume, I make an ass out of u and me. Er, just me, actually. Poof! Watch how I make my embarrassment disappear!

cake said...

Somewhere, the Magical Poof's ears are burning.

At least I assume they are.

Whoops, now I'm an ass too. ::grinning::