Saturday, March 18, 2006

If Walt Disney Had Made Porn Instead of Family Films



1. Steamboat Willie

2. Beauty & the Beast

3. Lady & the Tramp

4. 101 Dalmatians (Walt, you sick bastard!)

5. The Love Bug

6. Herbie Rides Again

7. Sleeping Beauty (Walt, you sick bastard!)

8. Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs

9. Bambi

10. The Sword in the Stone

11. The Rescuers Down Under

12. Pete's Dragon

...and on it on it could go.

7 comments:

cake said...

Alice in Wonderland
The Many *Adventures* of Winnie the Pooh
The Rescuers Down Under

Are we allowed alternate spellings? Probably not but...too good to resist:

Sinderella

Grumpy said...

The fox and the hound
Pocahontas

I Ain't No Oprah said...

Hey Cake,

The Rescuers Down Under is already on the list.

Alternate spelling are verbooten!

Sparkle Plenty said...

Frankenweenie (Walt, you sick bastard! But, Madeline Kahn liked it in Young Frankenstein, so maybe that makes it okay)
The Adventures of Tom Thumb and Thumbelina (even if you call their freaky palm-sized coupling "little people love," it don't make it right, Walt)
Follow Me, Boys! (Always a bad idea, didn't they teach you anything in health class?)
Fantasia (insert bad porn music here)
Rapunzel Unbraided (Walt, you sick bastard!)
The Fox and The Hound (cross-species freakiness)
Old Yeller (Walt, you sick snuff film-producing bastard!)
Around the World in 80 Days (it can probably be done in an hour, but Walt, you're still a sick bastard!)
Once Upon A Mattress
Ride A Wild Pony

Sparkle Plenty said...

Oops! I poached The Fox and the Hound by mistake. So, we'll have to substitute:

Bedknobs and Broomsticks

And, we'll just try not to think what Walt really had in mind.

cake said...

Nooprah: Damnit. Can't read this morning.

Mary Poppins?

Sparkle Plenty said...

Of course, I want to hijack the list concept and pervert the names.

Though it is slightly gauche (as if that ever holds me back), Cherry Poppins is just too good to pass up, and then it becomes a list of "If Disney pictures became porn star names."

I don't know, though. I'm beginning to suspect that I might be the one with a dirty mind--not Walt. Naw.