Sunday, March 19, 2006

Terrible Gift Ideas

1. Anything from the Dirt Devil® family of fine products.

2. Slim Fast gift basket

3. Framed picture of Grandpa Munster

4. Anything from Hickory Farms and or processed meat in general.

5. Handmade crap.

6. Handwritten gift certificate for doing chores.

7. The Dirty Dozen and The Great Escape directors cut DVD's (unless they're for me)

8. Renewing a magazine subscription

9. And of course...Nazi soap-on-the-rope

Anything else?


cake said...



Sparkle Plenty said...

Why, I think handmade crap is just beautiful! Breathtakingly beautiful. And always, always so very useful. I use my tatted toothpaste cozy every day and think of auntie.

Anonymous said...


Anything involving foot problems

Self help books

Anonymous said...

The worst.....

REALLY large framed photographs of you and your spouse on you wedding day.


Anonymous said...


There I go again....I need an editor standing behind me at all times.

Lois Lane said...

Things we've actually received:

Fluffy chenille scarves for a newborn
male baby. (Let's start gender confusion early! And hey! Choking hazards are fun!)

Newborn size clothing for nine-month old children. (Newsflash--kids grow!)

A nightshirt with nausatingly cute pictures of kittens on it and the saying "Desperate Housecats" (Bonus! It was so enormous it was too big when I was nine months pregnant. Heavy Helen and her sister Hefty Hallie could fit in it together.)

I Ain't No Oprah said...

Do you still own said nightshirt?

What's the proper amount of time before you can throw a gift away?

Lois Lane said...

Oh gosh, normally I hang on to these things for way too long. But said nightshirt -- a gift for my birthday last year -- sat in my pantry in the box it came in for about two months, and then I handed it off to my mom to put in the church thrift shop she runs. Upon seeing it, my mom rolled her eyes and said "What was your aunt thinking?"

The funny thing is that both my mom and my mother-in-law have given me many similar items over the years. That stopped quickly when I looked at one of the shirts and said "Gee, you really want me to wear these? Guess you never want grandchildren, do you?"