Just scanning a newspapers headlines and you know right off the bat that the story is gonna be horrible. Certain words or phrases are just NEVER in feel good stories.
1. Torso (always a horrible story if this word is in the headline)
2. Ex-Catholic Priest
3. Single engine plane (They just don't put that in the headline if the story is good...they just don't)
4. Shallow grave. (never, ever good)
5. Margot Kidder
6. Ceasefire (that usually means they'll start even more shooting in about an hour )
7. Mine shaft.
8. Machete
9. Dr. Menegele
10. West Virginia
11. Ebola
You get the idea. So for today's fun we can do one of two things: Either think up other words that AIN'T good in a headline, or use these in a headline sentence that would be a feel good story. Remember...headlines, not the story.
14 comments:
"Margot Kidder's Baby Rescued from Mine Shaft by ex-Catholic Priest" -- the feel-good story of the year
- severed limb
- Brangelina
- overdose
- leak
- spill
- waterfowl/birds
- jumping the shark
Although there is a good news story in there, too:
Brangelina's Severed Limbs Stop Leak, Save Waterfowl
Brangelina Adopts Newest Child: Ebola Pitt Jolie
Margot Kidder Declares Ceasefire on West Virgina
Praise the AbFlex: Ex-Catholic Priest Wins Best Torso Award
Any headline with Kennedy in it.
Co-ed (they're always getting into hideous hijinks)
Mob
Boarding house (never read a happy story involving one)
Wilderness (if it's a nice nature story, it's a "forest,"; when somebody's lost, it's "The Wilderness")
Gang (it's never about Spanky)
Collapse
Toxic
Amok
Dismembered
Hapless commuter
Lost
Hijacked
A Very Special Series by Wolf Blitz'em
Margot Kidder Rises from Shallow Grave in West Virginia Mineshaft, Becomes Walking Deity
Dr. Menegele Worships Margot Kidder's Torso, Cures Ebola by Synthesizing Rare Extract from Machete
Inspired by Menegele, Ex-Catholic Priest Gives Combatants a Single Engine Plane--Permanent Ceasefire Breaks Out
Those are mighty big headlines Sparkle...
Did I say headlines or headlights??
I have to disagree, Sparkle, there's nothing bad about this headline:
Cute Gangs of Fluffy Bunnies run Amok in Wilderness
There's this one too (though now I'm wandering away from Nooprah's list):
Co-Ed Boardinghouse Adopts Mob of Lost Puppies
Duct Tape
Unidentified Body
Tractor Trailor Truck
Thin Ice
Baseball Bat
Well Respected Student CoEd
4. Shallow grave. (never, ever good)
"The Brit flick 'Shallow Grave' wins the award as best creepy movie from the '90s to not watch on a date."
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0111149/
...well, I tried to make a feel-good headline out that. Looks like I failed.
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