Thursday, November 13, 2008
So last night I get home and Wifey is watching some Jennifer Aniston/Kevin Costner movie on the Oxygen channel. That's all you really need to know, but I will continue anyhow.
So at one point in the movie I turn to Wifey...
ME: "That Jennifer sure does have some Man-Hands, huh?"
ME: "Wow...she sure does have some big hands, huh?"
Well, it seems every decade I get a famous star that I start hating on and Wifey could sense that my new target was gonna be Jennifer.
Is Jennifer talented?
It's real good.
So why am I hating on her?
And take a look at her nose sometime! Very mannish.
And she picks these softball bland-o movies.
And she's one of these bitches that thought after F*R*I*E*N*D*S she'd be all in demand.
HEY JEN!!! NOBODY CARES!!!
And she's always whining about Brad leaving her and stuff.
And take a look at her chin. Very strange. And her eyes are too close togther.
And just so you don't think I'm nuts, my Women of Hatred over the years are:
1970s-Barbra Streisand. Ugly. Mildly talented. Still hate her. Possibly a man.
1980s- Julia Roberts. Mildly talented. Possibly a man. Giant feet. Still hate her.
1990s- Hillary Clinton. Man. Hate her.
2000s- And now Jennifer Aniston. Mildly talented. Very Mannish after you study her like I have.
Now take these four whores and have Marvel Comics publish a comic about them. Stan Lee would name them The DIVAvengers.
I would name them The Four Ugly Mannish Bitches.
SO TO SUM UP:
WIFEY knew what she was doing when she refused to engage me in conversation last night, for I would have ranted.