Tuesday, November 11, 2008

I hate hate. I love love.

So I'm driving home yesterday when all of a sudden I get this urge to stop at this Jewish Church (sin a god?)... I take a can a spray paint I always keep in my car (for just these kind of emergencies) and a start spraying a few swastikas on the Jew Church.

All of a sudden there is a beam of light shining in my eyes and a loud boooming voice calls out:

POLICEMAN: "Hold it right there, Buddy. You're under arrest!"

ME: "Arrest?? I'm under arrest?? What the heck for??"

POLICEMAN: "Defacing private property and for Hate Crimes!"

ME: "Defacing?? Hate Crimes??"

POLICEMAN: "Yuppers."

ME: I'm not defacing anything....I'm making it look better. Don't you think?"

POLICEMAN: "Nope-ers."

ME: "And what the heck is this about HATE CRIMES???"

POLICEMAN: You're painting swastikas on the Jewish Church and that falls under Hate Crime."

ME: "That's stupid. I love the Jews! I don't hate them.

POLICEMAN: "So why are you painting swastikas on their church?"

ME: "I Love Nazis!"

POLICEMAN: "Well, just make sure you don't throw the empty can in the bushes. Have a great night!"

ME: "You too!....Nite!"


Sparkle Plenty said...

The lead paint is NOT for snacking. How many times need I remind you of this?

Redbeard76 said...

Keep sniffing those paint cans, Noopie.

cake said...

::spraypaints "I LOVE OPRAH!" on the outside of IANO's store::

What?? I don't actually like Oprah but I looooove spraypaint.

And irritating IANO.